Page 61 (2/2)

Austin never see about a girlfriend

"Selina Have they been together long?"

"A couple ed "Can we talk about this later and instead talk about the ies you owe me?"

My response was i away I’h the years I’ you the next day and disappearing off the face of the planet I am sorrier than you could ever possibly know"

For a estured "Gayle said you’d been living rough That things have been hard But you look better than I’ve ever seen you I like the hair," he said, his big puppy eyes wounded and accusing

I fingered the short strands "I want to tell you about it However, I want to hear about you first I heard you went to rehab"

His beautifulup with us while ere left in the dark about you?"

Apparently, his anger wasn’t going away anytiot that I did I indicated he should sit on the couch while I took the chair He folded his tall body onto it and waited

"I only recently found out I had no access to the internet and had no desire to have access to the internet until a couple of days ago"

"You didn’t care?"

"Of course, I cared That’s why I didn’t check up on you I cared some and the only way I kne to survive was to push it all away For a while, I actually thought you were all gone Ghosts Noit was host Like I’d died and left your world behind I needed it to be that way It was the only way to get through the grief"

"You seerief now and you couldn’t then?"

"Time," I answered as I’d answered Gayle "And I’ve made friends here Met someone who knohat it’s like to lose a parent"

He beat his fist on his chest, his face red with frustration "I could have been that friend I grew up in the fucking foster care system, for Christ’s sake, Skylar!"

I flinched but refused to turn away froently as possible "Yours is a whole other kind of pain that I can never understand And minewell, I wish you knehat it’s like to have a parent love and support you but you never had that, Micah My friend had that and understands the kind of pain I’ret that lives inside you That never goes away, no matter hohere or whoers help you heal? Great"

I let his anger roll over rab hold "Isn’t that what you did? When you went to rehab?"

That gave hih to do what I couldn’t "I’h that was the catalyst After you left ot out of control Brandon said it was rehab or I was out of the band I couldn’t lose the band So I started rehab, started therapy, and it helped a lot It made me realize how much you hurt me ere kids when you chose the band over us"

Tears of guilt and regret blurred my vision "I know I’m so sorry"

"It wasyou were, like, the first person I letpeople when I was kid because they always threw me away But I let myself love you--I trusted that you loved me back That you wouldn’t throw me away"