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"Are you guys going to find shelter?"

"It’s just a bit of rain First wash I’ll have had in days," Mandy laughed

"Where ye off tae?" Haed I didn’t tell anyone where I caet a wash, a meal"

Mandy suddenly scowled at me "Ye still on yer own? What did we tell ye about that, Busker Girl? Ye need a ave me a look of concern "Or stay with us We’ll protect ye"

I knew he didn’t ht They both insisted that I was leavingwandered the city for a good few months now, I did see quite a few hoested, wo smarter than all of them I slept where no one ventured, far away from the city center I didn’t need anyone else to keep ht breeze could knock me over but it’s only a façade I can kick arse, you know" I grinned, trying to reassure them as I took a step back "I can look aftertae find yerself in trouble one of these days, Busker Girl!" Mandy called after me, and her words sounded prophetic in a way that sent a blast of cold shivers downoff the feeling I was fine

I didn’t have their problee, I had a lifetiht now I liked it like this I worried about important, basic-necessity stuff and all the other shit went away I’d keep being s to think about who I used to be

THE BUS WAS ONLY A fifteen-ot off at a stop that was a mere five-minute walk from the swim center It was always this particular center because it was a ten-minute walk from the laundromat I used and a twenty-minute walk from where I slept

Every Saturday it was the saraciously held onto uitar for me after I paid for my swim ticket There was a sadness in her smile when she handed me the ticket, so I knew she kneasn’t there to swim Still, she let me in

Her kindness pricked my pride a little, but I didn’t have time for pride, I re room The tiled floors had puddles of water here and there, the tiled walls glistened with condensation, and the large space was thick with the now-coer lockers free, hauled outcrea the rucksack into the locker with care not to da up, I’d never really been body conscious As a teenager I developed slim curves, I fit into a size four, and no one ever ht to me so it was never a factor I didn’t fit in with the popular kids but I had a band, a fun group of friends, and ere too busy concentrating on finding success in the music industry to care about stuff our peers cared about So truthfully, I’d only ever grown insecure about my looks when the band took off

Anytiram, there were always cole eird, had I put on weight? Was I pregnant? Who knocked et a boob job? And I’d be so cute if I got a nose job

Not all the coative Most were positive So how easy it becah To let theet to me when I’d never worried about ative coazine announced I was dating a beloved faether They’d done that a few tiht you didn’t deserve a guy they were fangirls over Sad, but so fucking true

Now I didn’t care about any of it I didn’t have to

I kneas too thin now, but if anyone stared at me as I walked across the locker room in my worn underith my inexpensive products ina shower free, I stepped inside, ignoring the strands of strangers’ hair clogging the drain, and pulled the wet shower curtain over for privacy After carefully stripping off my underwear, I rolled it up in , as I always did, that no rat bastard would co and steal it

When the hot water hit, I closedlike a shower after days and days of going without one I’d always taken a shower for granted Now that it wasn’t a regular thing--being lucky if I could h money for one once a week--it was a pure joy Not that I could really take the ti outside to use it next

So I got to scrubbing My body My hair Then I shaved Mandy toldhair kept you warh since late April and it had been pretty goddaht Scottish suht but it had been eable It was Septehtly te not to worry about it