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The girl just stood there for a while, staring after Brady before getting back into her car and driving away Strange I had never seen her before

"You ht have the best seat in the place" West Ashby’s voice startled ive a shit out there I needed to be alone Since you don’t talk, that ht be fucking perfect" He took a long drink of his beer then sat down beside me on the truck bed

Was he drunk? He had to be Surely, he are that I was the last person anted to be his company I wasn’t his friend I would never be his friend

"Maybe I should stop talking Then I wouldn’t have to pretend to give a fucking shit Bet that’s easy, huh? Not having to react to anything I envy you"

Envyto sit here and make jabs at me when he didn’t even know me He had no clue why I chose not to speak To say he envied me made me want to stand up and scream in his face No one on earth should ever envy me Ever

"But I did hear some stuff that, if it’s true, hed "Naw, probably ain’t Gunner’s ossip Half the stuff comes out of her h"

He looked as if he were talking to hi out in the darkness Pain was etched across his face He wasn’t trying to hide anything out here, not like he did all the other times I’d been around hiuy he didn’t reveal to anyone His one, and there was heaviness in his voice and darkness in his eyes

"Didn’t coo to the damn bathroom without help now Much less watch me play First time in my life he hasn’t watched me play Every touchdown I scored I did it for hiht But here I sit like a fucking pussy because going home to see him scares the hell out of me"

Him who? I wanted to ask but was afraid to His emotions were too raw This wasn’t the jerk he showed the world This was the guy underneath that He was allowing me to see him His pain His fears But why?

"When I was born, Moht out and bought it when they said it was a boy He put it in my crib with me from that day on I loved football, but it was because I loved hi leave ony "How’s she gonna ine h I just--" He dropped his head in his hands and let out a groan "Fuck, I’ie You knohat it’s like, to be scared?" he asked, lifting his head to look at me for the first time

I knew I knew all too well I knew terror and fear I knew deht instead of the sweet dreaine

I nodded "Yes," I whispered hoarsely, desperate to assure hie yet familiar

This was the second time I had spoken to him Once because he infuriated me, and now because I understood he needed to knoasn’t alone Pain came to all of us at some time or another It was hoe learned to cope with it that determined our future In this moment I chose to speak Silence was normally how I coped, but for the first time since I’d witnessed my father kill my mother, I wanted to speak I wanted to reassure so atin response I had spoken because he needed me to But to talk, just for conversation? I couldn’t do that I was still afraid to hear my voice

"Is it true? About what Gunner told meDid you see your dad" He trailed off He knewit around I kneould happen eventually

I thought about ht with anyone Re was too hard Too painful for any hu a parent too

So I nodded I wouldn’t give him any more than that I couldn’t put into words what I’d seen Not again

"Shit That’s tough," was all he said

We sat there in silence for severalDoctors can’t do anything for him anymore Sent him home to justdie Every day I watch hirasp Further fro I can do I’one and I never see hio hootten worse and then I’d have to see that I have to see theus"

My mother’s death had been fast Immediate She hadn’t suffered except for that one un at her I know she suffered then She suffered for me and what I would see

But I didn’t knohat it felt like to watch a parent die slowly before your eyes To go to sleep at night and not know if they’d be there the nextso in life West wasn’t a nice person He could be downright cruel But the enore I didn’t want to feel anything for him, even sorrow, but I did