Page 5 (1/2)

"Phillip Allington," the article said, "is an academician who does not wish to lose touch with the student population When he comes horaduates next to wholected to mention is that the president and his family live in Fischer Hall’s penthouse, which takes up the entire twentieth floor, and that they co on every floor on their way up to let the students out that Justine finally issued the about the elevators, President Allington’s wife, Eleanor, seems to have very little to do Whenever I see her, she’s always just returning fro off to, Saks Fifth Avenue She is uncannily co--like an Oly

Only Mrs Allington’s sport of choice--besides shopping--see vast aton return froton inevitably kicks up a ruckus in the lobby, usually concerning her pet cockatoos--or so I’ve heard from Pete, my favorite university security officer

"The birds," she’d once told hiuts, fatty"

Which is kind of mean-spirited, if you think about it Also inaccurate, since Pete isn’t a bit fat He’s just, you know Average

Mrs Allington’s drunken verbal assaults are a source of much amusement at the hall’s reception desk, which is staffed round the clock by student eht, if Dr Allington isn’t hoton someti facts: that someone has eaten all her stuffed artichokes; that there are coyotes on her terrace; that tiny invisible dwarfs are ha to Pete, the students were at first confused by these reports, and would beep the resident assistants, the upperclasse for free room and board, are expected to act as sort of house mothers, one per floor The RAs in turn would notify the building director, ould board the elevator for the twentieth floor to investigate

But when Mrs Allington answered her door, bleary-eyed and robed in velour--I know! Velour! Alood as stretch velvet--she’d just say, "I don’t knohat you’re talking about, fatty"

While behind her (according to various RAs who’ve repeated this story), the cockatoos whistled maniacally

Spooky stuff

But apparently not as spooky to Mrs Allington as it is to the rest of us, probably because she never seems to remember any of it the next day, and heads off to Saks as if she were a queen--the Queen of Fischer Hall

Like now, for instance Loaded doith shopping bags, Mrs Allington is looking scathingly at the cop who is blocking Fischer Hall’s front door, and going, "Excuse ency personnel only No residents allowed back in the building yet"

"I as "I’ure out what she is But it’s not like the cop cares

"Sorry, lady," he says "Go enjoy the street fair for a while, why dontcha? Or there’re soo relax on one till we get the all-clear to start lettin’ people in again, okay?"