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Whatever it meant, he didn’t comeand I ate reens alone

Alone, I think I was alone when I worked at the Vanderhoffs’ hoh a different kind of alone Alone surrounded by people

After working at the Chicago Lying-in Dispensary as a milkmaid for more than a year, I was hired by the mother and father of one of our premature babies to return with them, as a private wet nurse, to their Lake Forest hoood plan The pay was better, I’d have my own room, and they promised to keep me as a baby nurse and nanny when my milk ran out

Unfortunately, my life in the three-story brick home on Colonial Avenue wasn’t as pleasant as I’d expected The rest of the house staff, the cook and the upstairs maid, resented me Every three hours I breastfed the baby, as Dr Shane fro sitting room tidy, but other than that I had no duties at all When I offered to help in the kitchen, the cook turned away and Beatrice Vanderhoff, the baby’sthe infant around the clock meant there was never a day off What’s more, the couple’s first child had died of smallpox and the parents refused to let ustus Vanderhoff, a laith a firo, a heavytic that , had an expansive library next to the parlor, and I was allowed to read his books Other than that, until the weather war to do

For fiveenough to explore the house One Sunday afternoon, when the maid and the cook were on their half-day and Mr and Mrs Vanderhoff had gone to a charity tea for Hull House, I took off my shoes and tiptoed upstairs to the third floor

The first room I entered was an empty round turret s that looked out in every direction I thought of asking if I could have it forarea, but it was much too far frouests, nothing much there but empty armoires, soft beds, and velvet-backed chairs

Back on the second floor, I endedinto e maple four-poster bed I’d never seen such a bed, and I crept in and lay down on it, s the deep rose coverlet underin his wicker bassinet down the hall, so I continued to poke around It was the first ti open the door to the walk-in closet, I ran owns Some of the dresses I’d never seen her wear, like the blue satin floor-length one with ruffles and the deep purple velvet with leg-of-, only four suits, all black, a fehite shirts, and ato the main room, I sat down at the vanity The smell of lass atoave it a spray In the ht, her hair wound up tight in a chignon, her gold wire-rimmed spectacles perched on her nose, stared back Mobut only a little

Careful not to disturb things too much, I lift the lid to the embossed silver jewelry box and one by one hold the lady’s necklaces up, i ready for a party There’s one ornament I particularly fancy, an emerald pendant on a thin silver chain On the lower shelf of the velvet-lined box, I discover a gold ring with a solitary ruby I slip it on and ads

Red alert! I jerk up, al over my stool, and look around wildly to see if there’s any evidence ofback into the box, it’s stuck on ain I lick and pull, lick and pull, but the ring won’t come off! It’s probably only a deliveryman at the back door, but if I don’t answer soon he’ll wake the baby All the way down the back stairs, I keep licking and twisting the ring on er, and just as I skid across the kitchen floor it slips off and I stuff it under ht for a loet nurse to be seen with a huge red ruby twinkling on her hand!

I’m surprised to discover, when I unlatch the back door, that the person ringing isn’t a delivery boy It’s Mr Vanderhoff

Betrayal

I should have known right away that so was off, but I’m innocent that way, always have been

"Hey, thanks, kid Took you long enough You the only one ho in gin This was before the Eighteenth Aal "I lost ainst the kitchen table He’s never calledbut Miss Murphy before "Mrs Vanderhoff home yet?"

"No No one’s here but little Gerald and ht be the coal ustus Vanderhoff thinks this is funny "Coalkind of weak" I offer him my arm as men do with ladies on the street Not weak, I think More like drunk

"Upstairs," he coh the kitchen Twice he almost falls, and he throws his meaty arm around my waist for support Besides the stench of booze, there’s the sickly odor of cigars and aftershave

"I just have to get to my bedroom," he mumbles

The bedroo’s been disturbed I can’t even remember if I closed the door If he passes out, I think I can put the ring back

The master suite door is still open e stumble around the corner, but Mr Vanderhoff is too drunk to notice He circles around, takes tiet his feet to do the two-step, and he falls over onto the big bed, taking htenon his back with his hands under his head

Where does he come up with the "kid" appellation, anyway? I’m not a child, and I’s out over the side of the bed

I step reluctantly forward and undo the laces of his high-top ankle boots while he pulls off his shirt collar and unbuttons his vest As I yank off the second shoe and drop it onto the floor, his legs circle