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"How can you be so nice tothrough this again, Jenna," she said, switching to English with a stern tone "You spent two years utterly depressed, crippled by your guilt I don’t blame you, because it was not your fault It happened You went hoot another ride…"

Her voice faded out in a sob That sob stabbed me to the core I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in my hands, but Helena pulled the away Listen to hter You know that I tell you all the ti Braco would be to lose you, too"

"But--"

"No but You get up You wash your face and you go to this ht? You tell him you love hie to get through this life, because if you aren’t brave, then life and circurind you up into dust"

Be brave, Janja

My breath stung in ed my throat My eyes were so impossibly sore, yet tears continued to pour out I had no idea where they were co from

I shook my head "I’m so scared"

She stroked my hair "We all are Every day we are here, we never knohat is going to happen But life is meant to be lived Do you think if I had the choice that I would choose to go back in time and not have a son, just so I could avoid the pain of losing him? No Never I carried that baby and raised him and held him in my arms and kissed him and loved him And I remember the wonderful boy that he was Yes, I think about the arateful for every day that he was on this earth I’ll never regret it And you shouldn’t, either"

I rubbedthe truth in her words, and suddenly an inexplicable calrief were still there, but there was coratitude for having her in o back and relive everything again I’d be rateful for the time I had with Brock Theparents All of it No regrets

No regrets

Helena e inwords in our native language Soon,an old folk song thatwhen I was little

I was exhausted and depleted, but also fraught orry about William After ten minutes of silence, I slowly rose from the bed and went to my dresser to retrieve my phone

When it blooes and notifications of missed calls Shit Everyone was probably sick orry aboutmy pity party When I should have been there for Willia app, the doorbell rang I took a deep breath, and Helena rose froo see who it is, okay? And then after that, you’ll speak to your young man I hope I will , I wiped my face one last tiether alked intowith Ada Williaed

Joy infused the blood puh every vein the oofy s relief I felt when I saw that he was okay