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I cursed myself This was a sore subject with Alex

"Roypsies And I have no idea if I actually have any Roaze Now she was picking at her enchiladas I ate a fewher carefully

"You okay?" I finally said in response to her silence

She shrugged again "I ran into Dr Zweitberger the other day when I was in the science building"

I raised ? Doesn’t that make you break out in a rash?"

She smiled "There are so out Anyway, your professor recognized ra up while avoiding her searching gaze "Probably not for a while…if ever"

Alex’s face fell "Seriously? You have like, what? Two semesters left?"

"Four classes It’s okay What the hell was I going to do with a physics degree, anyway?"

"Teach, like you said you wanted to"

I laughed "I said that on a whi with the kids at the refugee center, and you’d be a wonderful science teacher I know it’s your dreaed "It would have been nice, but I’ve moved on from that"

Her lips thinned "Yeah, that’s your specialty, isn’t it?"

I took a deep breath in, willing myself not to be irritated with her Alex wore her heart on her sleeve and always spoke her s I loved about her

She shook her head "Jenna…"

"Alejandra," I mimicked

She blinked Oh shit I could tell she was seconds away from tears

"Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you punish yourself like this?"

I shookthe foil over the container to ready the leftovers for the fridge

"It’s survivor’s guilt, you know" Her voice treone to the cemetery Are you afraid other people you love will die, too? So youout air like a tire that had been punctured I reached up and rubbed uilt That wasn’t the first tiht, Alex"

She shook her head "I don’t want to, either But I just have to say that I hate what you’re doing You’re sabotaging yourself, you know"

"I’s That’s not a punishment!"

"But what about everyone who cares about you here? Me, Mia, everyone else? All your friends What about Helena?"