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Her pale brows bunch together "It doesn’t matter why It’s important to me"

I nod "I understand"

"No You don’t I don’t"

I have a feeling that’s not the entire story, but I don’t knohat to say in the face of her obvious anger

She sighs again "Don’t you care that you won’t be able to associate with the clan if Doug wins? He says you’ll have to exile yourself"

My eyes lower to the floor, her words flowing overcurrent They pull atrapids "I care about my friends I don’t have that , so I lean back onto the first duel? You weren’t even into fighting when you challenged hie lump in my throat I can’t tell her the real reason I have no idea how she’d react to, "Because Doug had you and I wanted you to be ant and insulting to people I was tired of it" That’s the truth…part of it, anyway

She appears to think about that for aup "Is--is that the only reason?"

My face heats Should I lie? Can I lie?

"To prove to myself that I could do it" I throw that out there because, yes, it was a reason, too It’s probably the biggest reason I initiate and excel at , the sword fighting All of it

Have I not been setting up these standards of personal worthiness rades in school, she’ll be proud of me She’ll loveto her friends that I’ain, it actually hurts But I shove that old pain aside, willing it to go away

Jenna’s shoulders hunch "We need to get you used to crowds Like a sporting event Do you like baseball?"

"No"

"Well, it’s just as well--there’s no baseball in March anyway But hockey…we could go to a Ducks game?"

I shake my head

"Come on It will be fun Hockey players are a lot like hts They, u sticks--like lances--and they fight a lot"

I laugh at the thought of likening hockey players to knights I’ve seen portions of hockey games before, and I would never view them that way I chance a look at Jenna’s eyes and see that she’s not looking atat my chest So I take this opportunity to study that dark circle of blue around those cornflower irises fringed with pale lashes She’s fresh-faced and wearing hardly any make-up, and I think she’s more beautiful that way I feel warm, like when the sun co and I jerk aze away I can’t look too hard or deep It feels like I’s that I shouldn’t see