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It hurt to breathe as I sat there absorbing his words, the si an sobbing on the spot His words were so honest, so unexpected He ainst his hard, naked chest, his warainst ht as ever I wasn’t brave enough yet It was too scary His arhtened around me He said he loveddown in the depths The wretched, horrid thoughts I forced down on a daily basis The self-loathing

Yes, I was alive But at what cost? Had it been worth it? I sed the sting of that hurt yet again and I turned and kissed his neck, his shoulder, his chest I showered him with my love The kisses weren’t meant to seduce or arouse, but to show him without words that I loved him too

"I love you--so, so much," I said It wasn’t nearly as poetic or romantic as what he had said to me but it was all I could choke out bethi and for a long ti of the bubbles and thein the white marbled bathroom

I pressed my teary cheek to the damp skin of his shoulder and I felt calm, peaceful When I spoke, it ith a quiet voice "I’ical here Like a fantasy Here, I have you all to myself I don’t have to share you I’m selfish but I’ve loved every minute of it"

"You have all of me, all of the time"

No, that wasn’t true and he knew it There I co women around him, co-workers, acquaintances There, I had the constant fear that I would lose him

"You haveas that happened to last

He kissed ainst my cheek "I need to tell you that I’m scared, too," he said suddenly

I sed "About the scan?"

"Yes"

"I guess it’s easy fortime"

He pulled back and looked into my eyes "None of us knohen forever will end It’s not just you We never know Whatwith each other Each day we make each other’s lives better"

My eyes dropped and he trailed the tears on ers as he moved them over my mouth

"So you know that my love is not about your looks…any ht? Or do you loveI could make a joke, but I didn’t want to spoil the moment "Hmm I love the man who makes breakfast for hed, continued to trace his fingers overthe feel

"I love the ns his notes to s only old people and hipsters know" He barked out another laugh I smiled "I love the man as there for ain and the bubbles fizzed around us

Minutes later, ot out of the tub He lay back and watchedthe now-soaked towel I snagged the other bathrobe and laid it near, where he could grab it when he got out

"Hey, faret rin and duckedthe soapy washcloth over his muscular back, down his trapeziushis latissimus dorsi, then to his narroaist Oh God, he was just too sexy for his own good And touching hih to have an over-the-top sex drive but apparently not healthy enough for hih of sexual frustration

"There And now, I’ll be in hed Firefly was one of his favorite shows

I got up and went into the bedroom where I sat in the dark and listened to hiotten out of the tub was that it hurt toomyself from hifrom myself too