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Weand I left There was an aard oodbye And I would have, but Heath tucked his head in at that moment to make sure Emilia was okay--or probably to lare he gave iven me the information for a doctor ould see her iiven the circumstances His office was the one I’d called that afternoon I’d also called the oncologist to set up the follow-up appointain early the nextIt was a cold, crisp day that promised moisture later on A dark, dreary sort of day Suitable, really, for ere about to do

I hadn’t letone for her It was my job--one that I took seriously I only hoped she could do what I’d asked her to do--to put her burdens on ht Emilia had once called it a baby--a child, our child But I’d refused to think about it that way Instead it was an obstacle to her beco healthy, a possible threat to her life I wouldn’t think about it otherwise

We said little on the way to the doctor’s office She kept her pale face pointed doards, staring at the clenched hands in her lap I didn’t bother with small talk She never looked up once and that was the first ti-ter would have on her, beyond the cancer Would it affect her will to fight it? I clenched my jaw One step at a time We’d tackle that proble blanks for her complete with information I didn’t know, like medical history She underwent a quick examination to confirm the date of conception Then the doctor handed her a slass of water

"You’ll come back for an exam and more medication in two days and a blood test in seven Reuidelines in the paperwork if there are any unusual syue nod and took the water in one hand and the pills in the other The doctor left the room and ere alone She hadn’t looked atto the office Now, she stared at the pills like they were coiled rattlesnakes

"I can’t do this"

That sa heron the pills, her hand beginning to shake "I thought I could"

I gently put et on eye level with her "Look at hteenth That’s the due date I looked it up" Her lip trembled

Iher, treazein her beautiful eyes shredded my heart Valiantly, she blinked them away and sed I soothed her cheek with my thumb

"Adam…" she whispered "I can’t…"

My attention narrowed on her so that she was my entire focus, my entire world for those few critical moments "You can Mia, I need you--soa ith ony

She froze, her gaze dropping Any color she’d had in her cheeks was long gone She was so pale, in fact, that she looked like she ht pass out

I sed "Do you need a minute? I’ll step out…I’ll--I’ll do whatever you need And--" I gulped air, suddenly feeling sick "If you can’t…if you change your mind, I’ll be here for you for that, too"

Her eyes flew to mine--as if to ascertain whether or not I was serious I was, but God--I prayed to any and all of them that she wouldn’t choose to carry to term We stared into each other’s eyes "You’d do that?" she choked out

"I want you inas possible--one way or another This is your choice You knohere I stand But I can’t pressure you beyond telling you how much you mean to me And I can’t even find the words to tell you that in any adequate way But I’ll go and be right outside the door and give you a ure this out"

"No," she said, her voice half a shaky sob "I need you to hold "

I nodded, taking her in my arms She turned so that her back was tomy arms around her waist She felt thin, frail, breakable