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I sighed "Yeah, yeah You don’t have to keep saying that I get it"

"Stop rolling your big brown eyes I’h all the bullshit and find out what lech has been ogling your pictures on your website"

My sto for a long moment This really was lunacy and every tie of er it to suhting to keep the irritation fro? I’"

Relieved, I coughed, wanting desperately to change the subject before he lapsed into another lecture about the self-destructive potential of my actions "Okay so… Next steps?"

He cleared his throat "I evaluate the top three bidders based on your all-important criteria If they’re losers, I move down to the next batch and so on until I find someone who isn’t a dirty old creep, if indeed there is someone who isn’t a dirty old creep"

"Okay, you have that list so the mountainous heap of papers and crap on his desk He probably hadn’t seen it in weeks

"Christ, Mia I don’t need the damn list I remember it all He can’t be married Needs to provide a complete lab workup to rule out STDs Umm…"

"See? You can’t remember half of it" I paused "Find the list and clean your dah paperwork on the other end "It’s right here under the pile of--"

"Shit?"

"I remember another one--criminal history?"

"Uh huh…And what else?"

"Ahh Here it is, see I told you I’d find it right under my stack of Minecraft notes Let’s see--lab workups, marital status, yadda yadda, okay--proof ofaccount"