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Anyone watching us at the pub ht that ere two friends who actually really quite liked each other

Stillthis over, I let myself in quietly The flat was dark froht as part of his intensive training I dropped -roo as I did so that it was nice of hiht on forat a table laid with two places, a candle flickering between them As I closed the door behind me, he stood up The candle was burnt halfway down to the base

‘I’m sorry,’ he said

I stared at hiht This job of yours is only for sixlike a child I should be proud that you’re doing so it all so seriously I was just a bit … thrown So I’ood that you’re trying to help him It’s admirable’

‘Thank you’ I squeezed his hand

When he spoke again, it was after a short breath, as if he had successfully ed some pre-rehearsed speech ‘I’ve ain’ He reached past e, and pulled out two plates ‘I pro is over OrI just … ’ He blew out his cheeks ‘I guess I haven’t been able to think about uess that’s been part of the probleht There’s no reason you should follow ht to work instead’

‘Patrick … ’ I said

‘I don’t want to argue with you, Lou Forgive ne Those two facts descended upon ht

‘Sit down, anyway,’ he said ‘Let’s eat, and then … I don’t know Enjoy ourselves Talk about soh

I sat down and looked at the table

Then I smiled ‘This is really nice,’ I said

Patrick really could do 101 things with turkey breast

We ate the green salad, the pasta salad and seafood salad and an exotic fruit salad that he had prepared for pudding, and I drank hile he stuck to in to relax There, in front of me, was a Patrick I hadn’t seen for soidly so that he didn’t say anything about running or ht the conversation veering in that direction I felt his feet s entwine, and slowly I felt soin to ease in e and disconnected froht and his secrets had swaht of the rest of uilty about the conversation I had had earlier with et up, not even to help him clear the dishes At a quarter past eleven he rose and an to load the dishwasher I sat, listening to hi at the point whereto release some of the knots that see to relax into it, so that it was a few minutes before I realized the conversation had stopped

I openedmy holiday folder He held up several pieces of paper ‘What’s all this?’

‘It’s … the trip The one I told you about’

I watched hi in the itinerary, the pictures, the Californian beach

‘I thought … ’ His voice, when it eht you were talking about Lourdes’

‘What?’

‘Or … I don’t know … Stoke Mandeville … or soht, when you said you couldn’t come because you had to help hi This looks like … ’ He shook his head disbelievingly ‘This looks like the holiday of a lifetime’

‘Well … it kind of is But not forhis head ‘You wouldn’t enjoy this at all Hot tubs under the stars, swi with dolphins … Oh, look, "five-star luxury" and "twenty-four-hour room service"’ He looked up at me ‘This isn’t a work trip This is a bloody honeymoon’

‘That’s not fair!’

‘But this is? You … you really expect me to just sit here while you swan off with anothertoo’

‘Oh Oh yes, Nathan That ht, then’

‘Patrick, come on – it’s complicated’

‘So explain it to me’ He thrust the papers towards me ‘Explain this to me, Lou Explain it in a way that I can possibly understand’