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I grinned back at him ‘I really loved it,’ I said ‘I’ht that was aat the castle Norlow froht, under a full moon, it seemed flooded in an ethereal blue

‘What kind of music would they have played there, do you think?’ I said ‘They ’

‘The castle? Medieval stuff Lutes, strings Not ot some I can lend you, if you like You should walk around the castle with it on earphones, if you really wanted the full experience’

‘Nah I don’t really go to the castle’

‘It’s always the hen you live close by somewhere’

My ansas non-coine tick its way to silence

‘Right,’ I said, unfasteningroutine awaits’

‘Just wait a minute, Clark’

I turned in my seat Will’s face was in shadow and I couldn’t quite make it out

‘Just hold on Just for atowards his chair, afraid soot so

‘I’m fine I just … ’

I could see his pale collar, his dark suit jacket a contrast against it

‘I don’t want to go in just yet I just want to sit and not have to think about … ’ He sed

Even in the half-dark it seemed effortful

‘I just … want to be a irl in a red dress Just for a few minutes more’

I released the door handle

‘Sure’

I closed ainst the headrest, and we sat there together for a while longer, two people lost in remembered music, half hidden in the shadow of a castle on a moonlit hill

My sister and I never really talked about what happened that night at the maze I’m not entirely sure we had the words She heldrass for my shoes until I told her that it really didn’t ain, anyway And then alked home slowly – h h we hadn’t walked like that since she was in her first year at school and Muot home, we stood on the porch and she wiped at my hair and then at my eyes with a damp tissue, and then we unlocked the front door and walked in as if nothing had happened

Dad was still up, watching soirls are a bit late,’ he called out ‘I know it’s a Friday, but still … ’

‘Okay, Dad,’ we called out, in unison

Back then, I had the room that is now Granddad’s I walked swiftly upstairs and, before my sister could say a word, I closed the door behindweek I cancelled irls frorief to notice, and Dad put any change inmyself in my bedroom, down to ‘women’s problems’ I had worked out who I was, and it was soot drunk with strangers It was soestive Clothes that would not appeal to the kind of men ent to the Red Lion, anyway

Life returned to normal I took a job at the hairdresser’s, then The Buttered Bun and put it all behind me

I must have walked past the castle five thousand times since that day

But I have never been to the ging on the spot, his new Nike T-shirt and shorts sticking slightly to his damp limbs I had stopped by to say hello and to tell hi at the pub that evening Nathan was off, and I had stepped in to take over the evening routine

‘That’s three ers ‘I suppose it is’

‘You’ll have to co And you haven’t told an to do his stretches, lifting his leg high and pressing his chest to his knee ‘I thoughta special dinner’