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‘There’s no guarantee you’re even going to be co ‘I need a bedroom, not a cupboard, and you’ve had the best rooet yourself up the duff’

‘Louisa!’ said Mum

‘Yes, well, if you weren’t so thick that you can’t even get a proper job, you could have got your own bloody place You’re old enough Or what’s theto ask you?’

‘That’s it!’ Dad’s roar broke into the silence ‘I’ve heard enough! Treena, go into the kitchen Lou, sit down and shut up I’ve got enough stress inat each other’

‘If you think I’ot another thing co,’ Treena hissed at me, as Mum manhandled her out of the door

‘Good I didn’t want your help anyway, freeloader,’ I said, and then ducked as Dad threw a copy of the Radio Ti I went to the library I think I probably hadn’t been in there since I was at school – quite possibly out of fear that they would remember the Judy Blume I had lost in Year 7, and that a clah its Victorian pillared doors, de £3,853 in fines

It wasn’t what I remembered Half the books seereat bookshelves full of audiobooks, and even stands of greetings cards And it was not silent The sound of singing and clapping filtered through from the children’s book corner, where so People read azines and chatted quietly The section where old men used to fall asleep over the free newspapers had disappeared, replaced by a large oval table with coerly at one of these, hoping that nobody atching Co Luckily, they seemed to have anticipated the sheer terror felt by people like me A librarian stopped by my table, and handed me a card and a laminated sheet with instructions on it She didn’t stand over my shoulder, just murmured that she would be at the desk if I needed any further help, and then it was just me and a chair with a wonky castor and the blank screen

The only computer I have had any contact with in years is Patrick’s He only really uses it to download fitness plans, or to order sports technique books from Amazon If there is other stuff he does on there, I don’t really want to know about it But I followed the librarian’s instructions, double-checking every stage as I coly, it worked It didn’t just work, but it was easy

Four hours later I had the beginnings of my list

And nobody mentioned the Judy Blume Mind you, that was probably because I had used my sister’s library card

On the way hoht a calendar It wasn’t one of the month-to-view kind, the ones you flip over to reveal a fresh picture of Justin Timberlake or mountain ponies It was a wall calendar – the sort you ht find in an office, with staff holiday entitleht it with the brisk efficiency of so better than to immerse herself in administrative tasks

In my little room at home, I opened it out, pinned it carefully to the back of my door and marked the date when I had started at the Traynors’, way back at the beginning of February Then I counted forward, and ust – now barely four months ahead I took a step back and stared at it for a while, trying to ht of what it heralded And as I stared, I began to realize what I was taking on

I would have to fill those little white rectangles with a lifetienerate happiness, contentment, satisfaction or pleasure I would have to fill theood experience I could sus er make them happen by hiles to pack out with days out, trips away, visitors, lunches and concerts I had to come up with all the practical ways to h research to make sure that they didn’t fail

And then I had to convince Will to actually do them

I stared at my calendar, the pen stilled in my hand This little patch of laminated paper suddenly bore a whole heap of responsibility

I had a hundred and seventeen days in which to convince Will Traynor that he had a reason to live

11

There are places where the changing seasons arebirds, or the ebb and flow of tides Here, in our little town, it was the return of the tourists At first, a tentative trickle, stepping off trains or out of cars in brightly coloured waterproof coats, clutching their guidebooks and National Trust membership; then, as the air warside the belch and hiss of their coaches, clogging up the high street, An schoolchildren were dotted around the perimeter of the castle

In the winter months little stayed open The wealthier shop owners took advantage of the long bleak months to disappear to holiday homes abroad, while theon occasional carol concerts in the grounds, or festive craft fairs But then as the teher, the castle car parks would become studded with vehicles, the local pubs chalk up an increase in requests for a ploughain frolish tourist destination

I walked up the hill, dodging this season’s hovering early few as they clutched their neoprene buuides, their cameras already poised to captureI sraphs of others with proffered cameras Some locals complained about the tourist season – the traffic jae comestibles in The Buttered Bun cafe (‘You don’t do sushi? Not even hand roll?’) But I didn’t I liked the breath of foreign air, the close-up glimpses of lives far removed from my own I liked to hear the accents and work out where their owners came from, to study the clothes of people who had never seen a Next catalogue or bought a five-pack of knickers at Marks and Spencer’s

‘You look cheerful,’ Will said, as I droppedin the hallway He said it as if it were almost an affront

‘That’s because it’s today’

‘What is?’

‘Our outing We’re taking Nathan to see the horse racing’

Will and Nathan looked at each other I alht of the weather; once I saw the sun, I knew everything was going to be all right

‘Horse racing?’