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My ar to work out what to do

‘Well, you know you and I … we … ’

Another weighty silence

‘Will, please say soratulations,’ he said finally

‘I knohat you’re thinking But neither of ustime ere just friends Friends ere concerned about you It’s just that Rupert was the most terrific support toof him’

‘Please don’t be like this This is so awful I have absolutely dreaded telling you We both have’

‘Evidently,’ Will said flatly

Rupert’s voice broke in ‘Look, we’re only telling you because we both care about you We didn’t want you to hear it frooes on You must know that It’s been two years, after all’

There was silence I realized I did not want to listen to anyslightly with the effort But Rupert’s voice, when it carown in volume so that I could still hear him

‘Come on, man I know it must be terribly hard … all this But if you care for Lissa at all, you , Will Please’

I could picture his face I could see that look of his that ed to be both unreadable and to convey a kind of distant conteratulations,’ he said, finally ‘I’m sure you’ll both be very happy’

Alicia started to protest then – so indistinct – but was interrupted by Rupert ‘Come on, Lissa I think we should leave Will, it’s not like we ca It was a courtesy Lissa thought – well, we both just thought – you should know Sorry, old chap I … I do hope things improve for you and I hope you do want to stay in touch when things … you knohen things settle down a bit’

I heard footsteps, and stooped over the basket of logs, as if I had only just come in I heard them in the corridor and then Alicia appeared in front of me Her eyes were red-rimmed, as if she were about to cry

‘Can I use the bathroom?’ she said, her voice thick and choked

I slowly lifted a finger and pointed mutely in its direction

She looked at me hard then, and I realized that what I felt probably showed on s

‘I knohat you’re thinking,’ she said, after a pause ‘But I did try I really tried For id, her expression oddly furious ‘He actually didn’t wantfor

‘It’s really none ofeach other

‘You know, you can only actually help soone

I waited a couple ofdown the drive, and then I went into the kitchen I stood there and boiled the kettle even though I didn’t want a cup of tea I flicked through a azine that I had already read Finally, I went back into the corridor and, with a grunt, picked up the log basket and hauled it into the living roohtly on the door before I entered so that Will would knoas coan

But there was nobody there

The room was empty

It was then that I heard the crash I ran out into the corridor just in tilass It was co from Will’s bedroom Oh God, please don’t let hi drilled through my head I had left him for more than fifteen minutes

I ran down the corridor, slid to a halt in the doorway and stood, both hands gripping the door fraht in his chair, a walking stick balanced across the arhteen inches to his left – a jousting stick There was not a single photograph left on the long shelves; the expensive frames lay in pieces all over the floor, the carpet studded with glittering shards of glass His lap was dusted with bits of glass and splintered wood fra rasped that he was unhurt Will was breathing hard, as if whatever he had done had cost hilass His eyes met mine They were infinitely weary They dared me to offer him sympathy

I looked down at his lap, and then at the floor around him I could just make out the picture of him and Alicia, her face now obscured by a bent silver fra at it, and slowly lifted est I could reet a puncture?’ I said, finally, nodding at his wheelchair ‘Because I have no idea where I would put the jack’

His eyes widened Just for a ht I had really blown it But the faintest flicker of a smile passed across his face

‘Look, don’t et the vacuu stick drop to the floor As I left the roos Head was always busy on a Thursday evening, and in the corner of the snug it was even busier I sat squashed between Patrick and aperiodically at the horse brasses pinned to the oak bearaphs of the castle that punctuated the joists, and tried to look even vaguely interested in the talk around me, which see

I had always thought the fortnightly s of the Hailsbury Triathlon Terrors ht alcohol, and my solitary packet of crisps sat crumpled and empty on the table Everyone else sipped at mineral water, or checked the sweetener ratios on their Diet Cokes When they, finally, ordered food there wouldn’t be a salad that was allowed to brush a leaf against a full-fat dressing, or a piece of chicken that still sported its skin I often ordered chips, just so that I could watch them all pretend they didn’t want one

‘Phil hit the wall about forty miles in He said he actually heard voices Feet like lead He had that zoot so trainers fitted Shaved fifteen s’

‘Don’t travel with a soft bike bag Nigel arrived at tricaer’