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‘Ma’a firepower Conventional weapons were going to be ineffective ‘Actually,’ she said, stubbing out her cigarette, ‘I wanted to ask you so’

The ht Avice

Jean traced a pattern on the floor with her toe of her shoe ‘Please don’t tell anyone, but I keep getting lost,’ she said ‘I’d like to walk around but I’ve got lost twice already, and it’s irls So I don’t really like to ask them I even missed dinner because I couldn’t find the canteen’

The

‘It’s because I’ and stuff And I can’t’ she let her voice drop to a whisper ‘I can’t understand the map The one of the ship You couldn’t explain it to me, could you?’

The marine hesitated, then nodded ‘There’s one pinned up on that noticeboard Want h it?’ His voice was low, resonant, as if he was about to break into song

‘Oh, would you?’ said Jean, a heartbreaking saret, as listening froaret and Avice looked out the pair were standing in front of thean oversized washbag, gave theown The marine saluted her, then turned back to Jean to explain how she ar deck to, for exa intently on whatever he had to say

‘It’s not ideal,’ said Margaret afterwards, sitting down heavily on her bunk as the dog plodded round the dor at the floor ‘It’s not like a proper walk for her I e to reht of that beforehand She was now s cold crea s to one’s skin, and she was darned if she was going tolike a strip of Boaret, as Jean careat, Jean’

Jean siot it--’ She stopped ‘Blimey, Avice, you look like a haddock with your rateful, Jean,’ Margaret told her ‘I didn’t think he was going toable to read was a masterstroke’

‘What?’

‘I’d never have come up with it You ave her an odd look ‘No thinking about it, mate’ She directed her next words at the floor ‘Can’t read a word ’Cept my name Never have’

There was an aard silence Avice tried to gauge if this was another of Jean’s jokes, but she wasn’t laughing

Jean broke the silence ‘What the bloody hell is that?’ She stood up, flapping her hands

There was a second’s grace, then a putrid saret winced ‘Sorry, ladies I said she was clean I never said she wasn’t windy’

Jean burst out laughing, and even Frances ed a rueful s to keep bitterness froht that hoaret lay awake in the darkened cabin, listening to the odd creak and sniff as her travelling companions shifted on their bunks, her exhaustion swept away paradoxically by the opportunity to sleep She had thought she was fine: the strangeness of it all and the excite too hard about her new environ the ship in theout into the inky blackness, she was gripped by an irrational terror, a childlike desire to turn round and run for the familiar safety of the only house in which she had ever spent a night Her brothers would be going to bed now: she could picture them round the kitchen table – they had barely used the parlour since her s stretched out as they listened to the wireless, played cards or, in Daniel’s case, read a co over his shoulder Dad would be in his chair, hands tucked behind his head, the frayed patches showing at his elbows, eyes closed as if in preparation for sleep, occasionally nodding Letty would be sewing, or polishing so in the chair her mother had once occupied

Letty, whom she had treated so shabbily

She was overwhelain, and bit down on her fingers, hoping that physical pain e

She took a deep breath, reached out and felt Maude Gonne under the blanket, tucked into the restricted area where her thigh : it had been selfish She hadn’t thought of how miserable she would be, stuck inside this noisy, stuffy cabin for twenty-four hours a day Even Margaret was finding it difficult, and she could go to the other decks at will I’ silently I proland A tear trickled down her cheek

Outside, the marine shifted position on theto soainst the door In the distance, several sets of heavy footfalls tramped down the metal stairs Above her, Jean murmured to herself, perhaps in sleep, and Avice pulled the blanket further over her rollered hair

Margaret had never shared a roorowing up female in the Donleavy household Now the little dorht or a breath of air, felt stifling She swung her legs over the side of the bunk and sat there for aher oversized nightdress over her knees I’ve got to pull it together She thought of Joe, his expression warirl,’ he said, and she closed her eyes, trying to rearet?’ Jean’s voice cut into the darkness ‘You going so her feet back under the covers ‘No, just’ She couldn’t explain ‘Just having trouble getting to sleep’

‘Me too’

Her voice had sounded uncharacteristically saret felt a swell of pity for her She was barely more than a child ‘Want to come down here for a bit?’ she whispered