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We argued a lot about it I didn’t want hiht after they were done They were pieces of hiain It upset me more than it should have, but it was only because I was passionate about his music, probably rily one day "They’re not any good Just because you like me, it doesn’t mean you have to lie aboutfrom the realization he read , and you’re being really stupid for throwing away your work like it’s nothing!"
"That’s because it is nothing"
"One day you’re going to realize how untrue that is One day, Carter"
We grew obsessed withto it too With a part ti as a shelf stacker, he’d use what he earned to buy CDs and a stereo When he was burnt out fro, we’d sit back and listen to the eclectic variety of ot comfortable with Carter While I still fantasized about his lips on mine al past that enough to just enjoy his coet him in the way I wanted He saw me as a friend – hell, utted irl
For a whole year, I pined for the boy that had stolen my heart with his soft voice and beautiful face But I did ht side
Besides Rome, I made a new best friend
2004
15 years old
I pressedRussell and Cheryl had finally gone to bed Lately Russell would open the door at random times and look in at me I didn’t like it at all He’d never done this before Never cared to check in on me no matter the hour in the day I didn’t knohat he was expecting to find, but he wasCarter before I went back to ht Russell had already checked in on ot drunk and taken Cheryl for a dirty round of sex in the living roo it It was so obvious Cheryl wanted nothing to do with hi on to dear life when he finally finished and threw her the drugs that would forever ruin her life
At this point in h about their relationship to know Cheryl had never wanted to be married to him She’d let it slip at tied out and alone She’d get eo That he had used her and forced her into the rown dependent on
I didn’t care I hated her I hated hi about their life and how happy they were to seedown the years I’d get away I daydreamed what it would be like to run aith Carter Maybe when I turned sixteen I’d kiss this place goodbye and move into the city and life would be a happily ever after Carter would finally take notice of ed for him to, and he’d finally proclaim his love forhope in a hopeless situation was all that keptfrom the bedroom, I knew the coast was clear I quickly threw on a sweatshirt and tookdirty blonde strands ofbehind the door I put on my house slippers after that and opened theI slipped out into the crispy cold air and hurried across the yard to where Carter’s bedroom was His blinds were closed, whichhiotten into and didn’t think I kneere tucked under his mattress
I don’t need to explain how I knew about this I already , I didn’t care We’d gotten into this habit, of either hih his I was doing this ht and I’d never snuck out this late As I approached his half cracked , I froze when I heard the soft sounds ofout
He never listened tointo his , I found a crack through the blinds and peered in Instantly, the blood in
He was on his bed and a girl was on top of hi a make-out session that could rival all , his hands roamed her half-naked body
I felt irl I’d never seen before It was probably going to s my eyes, but I held theh cookie I mean, look at my life; you needed thick skin to handle the shit I did
Operating on anger, I grabbed hisand slid it up Without waiting a beat, I quickly cli aside the blinds and practically breaking theirl’s head turned inout as I stood there, panting froer
"What the hell?" she squeaked out, irab her shirt She shoved it against her chest, hiding her giant boobs – boobs that awked athere, Carter?" she hollered
But Carter didn’t respond He was sighing and shaking his head, his eyes directed to the ceiling Avoiding her now rowled out harshly, "Get out!"
Her jaw dropped and she looked at Carter for back up But he was still not saying a word, and it had quickly dawned on her that I was in charge now
"Do sooing to do that I knew my place in his life I was far irl he’d picked up I was taking advantage of this, I know, but into share him, especially in a place that I felt was ours This bedroonore We’d talk for hours until the sun ca to taint it with some random chick’s touch