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Suddenly, Sa next todiscordantly from the keys as his arms wrapped around me and his lips captured ht hand rose to his face My head was pressed into his shoulder, and he pulledfeverishly over mine

I heard myself say his name as he moved his lips from mine to rain kisses across my jaw and down the silky column of my throat I shuddered deep down inhim from me to stare into his eyes He looked down atin pants like it never did when he ran His eyes glittered and burned, and his lips were parted as he struggled to control his breathing

"How a ently

"What prorasped tightly in his arms

"Not to fall in love with you," I ravity and rushed to my already flushed face

He didn’t respond and I pulled o I rose and stepped away from him

He stood behind me, and I moved towards the door

"Josie"

"Yes"

"You didn’t let me answer your question"

"Which question was that?"

"You asked irl I loved best"

Now I didn’t respond

"You’re not the girl I love best, Josie" My shoulders tightened against rejection "You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved," he finished quietly My breath caught, not quite believing what I was hearing "I know I’ too fast I just can’t seem to help myself I watch you and listen to you and all I want to do is hold you and kiss you, and I…I’ you" His voice faded off I didn’t kno to respond My heart had resuainst entle on my shoulders, and he turned me to face him I looked up into his face and was lost in what I kneas coo I want you to marry me Now, next week, next o to school – or just play the piano all day I don’t care as long as you’re happy and you’re with me" Samuel’s hands framed my face and his eyes pled with mine

"First you tell me not to fall in love with you and five minutes later you ask , euphoria threatening to bubble up and carry ht of my responsibilities clawed ina roaned out "I do want you to love me, Josie, because I love you so, Samuel! Why can’t you stay here? Why do you have to leave?" I cried, sounding tochild

"For the same reasons I can’t live on the reservation My future isn’t here I have commitments that I have to keep to the Marines, to myself, even to ain the child in o I can’t leave I’m needed here"

"I need you," Sa ely detached, as if I atching this scene play out in a Jane Austen novel I felt grief, but it was a syrief I often feel for someone else’s pain - almost the way I’d felt at my mom’s funeral - like it wasn’t real yet I stepped back froo with you, Samuel I’m sorry" My voice sounded funny, and it felt heavy on my lips, similar to those awful dreams where you try to speak but can’t because your mouth is suddenly unable to forry with azed down at ered on me for atonight ere listening to Beethoven You’re like the tonic note You’re the note that all the other notes revolve around and gravitate to You’re ho, your faht not be a family That’s what your afraid of, isn’t it? Who will step in and be the hoo?" Samuel’s eyes were bleak as he continued, his voice husky and low "That’s what you’ve been for me ever since Iplayed The one I’ve gravitated towards all these years" He leaned into ently His hand cuppedlower lip

"I love you, Josie," he said Then he turned and walked out of one, just as it had been the day after Daisy’s colt was born all those years ago

20 The Leading Note

Saone for teeks, and I kept ular duties - I cut hair, I taught piano lessons, and I ran several arden Then I canned until the early reen beans and pickles I nas and casseroles and stuck the sizes When there was nothing left to bottle or freeze I alphabetized and reorganized e Then I decided the house was in need of a deep clean I scrubbed blinds and washed curtains and steamed carpets Then I started in on the yard In other words…I was a mess