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"Ameliorate means to make better My ‘Wall of Words’ ahed out loud "It does, does it?" He shook his head and looked at ht Josie Jo You can keep your wall But keep it up here, okay? I don’t ords written all over the kitchen when you run out of roo smaller," I said, suddenly concerned atas he descended the narrow stairs

3 Overture

Sonja had made the difficult shift into maturity easier than it would otherwise have been, but I still had to endure the scrutiny that ed By the tih I was slender, I was 5’6 and had brsts and curves when boys ht I was the luckiest girl alive and pestered me with personal questions and even asked me once if she could wearthe only girl in a family of boys made my wardrobe choices pretty lilers because that’s e had My dad had never thought to do anything different, and I’d never thought it irown Sonja’s underwear purchases the first year, and if it wasn’t forsure I had a sturdy bra I don’t knohat I would’ve done The boyish clothing h I hunched ht and my brsts and was constantly self-conscious and aard

Sonja had insisted I getposture" I needed glasses to read or play the piano and since my nose was constantly in a book, I tended to wear the words and blurted out deep thoughts, and I think e when they considered h, and I was relieved to be leaving ele it would be easier to blend in with the older kids But junior high was just a different kind of torture The junior high was rades 10-12, and we all rode the sa the bus Johnny was a senior the year I started seventh grade He drove Old Brown, our old farm-truck, into school most days because he played several sports and practices were after school Soave me a ride, butno room for his little sister The bus was loud and sloith kids crawling all over the place I hated the elbows ina seat

The bus stop by my house was one of the very last, and every day I would dread walking down the aisle of the full bus, looking for a place to sit down I dreanted attention froer boys, and confusing aniirls Tara, loyal cousin and friend, usually tried to save me a seat, but I almost preferred not to sit by her At thirteen she was about as big as a nine-year-old, and our size difference made my discomfort all the more severe Not only was she little, she was loud, and where I would prefer to shrink into the background, she would call attention to herself every chance she got

There was an 11th grade boy na around with ht he was the funniest kid on God’s green earth I didn’t like him very much; his humor was usually mean-spirited and always at the expense of soets My dad said he was a smart ass, but mostly he was just an obnoxious bully Above all, I couldn’t stand him because he stared at my chest whenever he saw ht Joby was hilarious and fun to be with Because Joby didn’t play sports he always rode the bus, holding court way in the back,in early fall, I climbed on the bus, nervous and desperate for a seat as usual Tara waved at s stuck on each seat Mr Walker, the bus driver, had n forto find a place to sit, and I was ridiculously grateful as I searched for er, s the three to a seat rule a little more comfortable As I neared the back of the bus, red heat crawled upout

"Josie Jensen! Co voice Everyone around hihter "Hey, we can play cowboys and indians! Don’t worry, Jos, I won’t let Saned seat My name was on the seat just across the aisle fros in the aisle so his knobby knees and big feet in unlaced Reeboks et by without confrontation He patted the green plastic seat next to hi inside the seat beside hirandson of Don and Nettie Yates who lived just down the road from me Don and Nettie’s son, Michael, had served a Mormon o After hisback to Arizona for soirl and they had Samuel A few years later, Michael Yates was killed when he’d been thrown from a horse I don’t remember the details; it all happened when I was little, but in small towns everyone’s story becomes known eventually