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On top of it all, Poppy was givingspace between Rowdy and myself because of her and because of my own hesitation, and she didn’t like it one bit She told me no less than ten tied ain that things had never and would never be like that between her and Rowdy She told me to open h, wantedwith h he knew there was a chance I wouldn’t stay in Denver for very long Poppy insisted that for hin of how ue with her but I also didn’t know if it was enough

On Friday, Sayer and I sat down in a really posh restaurant located really close to the shop and she fed ly told her the details of the entire situation

"He’s worth it"

He always had been but that didn’t mean I was as brave as he was and ready to put it all on the line just to end up his second choice I had never loved anyone after I loved him when he was my only source of joy in my youth and I doubted I would ever be able to love anyone beyond hi as an adult

Unable to think about any of it anymore, I switched the subject and asked Sayer to tellup with the man that had left his son in no-ave liotten off lucky and his idea that everything happened for a reason reater reason for hias than just because He never would’ve been able to withstand the chilly upbringing and frozen parenting Sayer had been subjected to It sounded hauntingly familiar and even worse than my own home had been

I told her about my own father and how his rules and ironfisted control over my family had driven me out of the house in desperation and explained to her why that had left such a lasting impact on Rowdy over the years

"He was so little when his mom died He doesn’t really remember much about her, but from what he does, I think she onderful to hi really happy and always sht up a whole room When she was ripped away from him and he ended up in the system, I don’t think anyone knehat to do with a wild kid that was being eaten alive by grief He just felt so alone" I sighed and noticed that Sayer was blinking really hard to keep her emotion in check "I re on the porch of our house He was only eleven or twelve at the ti and he tolda family history project in one of his classes and that the other kids were teasing him because he only had one branch--him I could see he wanted to yell about it, to cry at the unfairness of it all, but it was just like he had accepted that everyone he loved was gone and he would be on his own forever"

I shookon with dinner "I told hi yet He would add to it as he got older He would fall in love, have kids, have in-laws, and make his own St James orchard I think it helped at the time but then I turned around and blew out of town and my sister turned him dohen he offered to -held fears about being left by the ones he loved the lass of wine "I would be happy to be a branch on that tree We could help each other in never being alone again"

I nodded "He’ll figure that out eventually Poppy keeps trying to tell me he has always loved her like a sister, that he just didn’t know it at the ti him If that’s the case, there is no way he won’t eventually come around and want to love his actual sister in the same way"

"I sure hope so" She lifted an eyebrow at lass inthe exact sa to be with You already spent a decade working your way back to where you wanted to be It’s absolutely foolish to waste that because of so you’ve toldI’ve seen, Rowdy isn’t the type to beat around the bush If he had feelings for your sister at all, he wouldn’t be furious at you and hounding you for avoiding hi for you, Sale for hi and I couldn’t resist ordering dessert when our server ca else I was bummed out and missed my man, so ice cream and brownies were absolutely called for

"I didn’t have a choice I think I’ve been trying to find my way back to him since the second I left"

"That must have been hard for both of you"

"Yeah As soon as I left I knew things weren’t going to be easy for him but I hoped for the best The foster fah school were really nice people and I think they took care of his basic needs, but there was no one there to help hiure out his future or to teach him how to follow his heart Did you know he played football? He could have gone pro if he wanted" I couldn’t help the pride that snuck intobut he never loved it It was just a way to fit in He loved art and he wanted to draw He was a at that as well and that was his true passion, his real calling"

I moved my hair off of my neck and shoulders and showed her the field of flowers and birds flying across my back "He drew this for me when he elve The birds were free and he knew that’s the only thing I ever wanted It was how he tried to give me some kind of liberty from n, and when she pulled back she put her hands on the table and looked at me with serious eyes