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"I came to talk to you because I need to tell you the truth I need to tell you"
"What are you talking--?"
He cutsI never told youI never explained"
In the endless stretch of silence before he speaks again, the world outside take a deep breath
"I’m in love I fell in love" Parker’s voice is barely a whisper I stop breathing altogether I’ will disappear "Maybe I alas in love, and just too stupid to know it"
You, I think The only word I can reach, the only thing I can think of: You
Maybe, on some level, he hears me Maybe in some parallel realm, Parker knows, because just then he says it, too
"It’s you," he says And his hands are touching h my hair "My whole life, it’s always been you"
Then he kisses me And in that second I realize that all the work I’ve done to forget, to deny, to pretend I never cared about hi down our memories, piece by piece--has been totally and completely pointless The second his lips touch mine--hesitantly, at first, as if he isn’t quite sure I’ll want it--the second I feel his fingers tighten inand there never was
I am in love with Parker I have always been in love with Parker
It’s been months since we’ve kissed, but there’s no aardness, no strain, like there ith any of the other guys I’ve been with It’s as easy as breathing: push and pull; give, take, give He tastes like sugar and so deep and spicy
At a certain point we break to catch our breath I’ my phone; I have no idea when I dropped it and I couldn’t care less
Parker brushes the hair back froers over my cheeks I wonder whether he can feel the scar tissue, smooth and alien, and involuntarily I pull back a little
"You’re so beautiful," he says, and I know he , maybe forever, since anyone has looked atat me now
I shake my head "I’m all messed up now" My throat is knotted up and the words coled
"You’re not" He takesme to look at him "You’re perfect"
This tiain I feel war in the world’s most perfect ocean Parker thinks I’m beautiful Parker has been in love with ain
With one hand he eases aside the collar ofhis lips across my jawline and then to my ear My whole body is a shiver; at the sa, all at once, and in that second I know: tonight’s the night Right here, in rab his T-shirt and pull hiroan and a sigh