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Anger itches its way up through my skin "You’re not serious" At the start of the summer, I landed a job behind the concessions kiosk at the Palladiuhts: the world’s easiest, stupidest job Most days the wholebaby strollers, and even when they co but Diet Coke All I have to do is show up and I get 1050 an hour

"I’m dead serious" Mohtly I can see every bone "Your father and I think you need a littlethateach other to tea to keep you busy"

Busy Like stimulated, that word is parent-speak for: supervised at all times and bored out of your mind

"I’m busy at the Palladium," I say, which is a complete lie

"You mix butter into popcorn, Nicki," Mom says A crease appears between her eyebrows, as if someone has just pressed a thumb to her skin

Not always, I nearly say

She stands up, cinching her bathrobe a little tighter Mouess since it’s Friday she didn’t bother getting dressed, even though it’s after 2:00 pm "I’ve spoken to Mr Wilcox," she says

"No" The itch has becouy who used to teach math at Mo the world’s oldest, most pathetic amusement park, Fantasy Land Since the name makes it sound like a strip club, everyone calls it FanLand "Don’t even say it"

Apparently she isn’t listening "Greg said he’s short-staffed this su a face as if she’s sucking on a le she shouldn’t have "Well, he could use an extra pair of hands It’ll be physical, it’ll get you outside, and it will be good for you"

I’s while pretending it’s for my benefit

"This isn’t fair," I say I al, but I refuse to mention her, just like I refuse to ask where she is If she’s going to pretend I don’t exist, I can do the same for her

"I don’t have to be fair," she says "I’m your mom Besides, Dr Lichme thinks--"

"I don’t care what Dr Lichme thinks" I shove away from the table so hard the chair screeches on the linoleum The air in the house is thick with heat and moisture: no central air This is whatin Dad’s spare bedroohts off, I’ll be sharing a house with a sister who hatesaway at an ancient amusement park solely attended by freaks and old people

"Now you’re starting to sound like her, too" Moh, don’t you think?"

It’s typical of Dara that she can become not only the topic of but also a force in the conversation even when she isn’t in the roo me to Dara instead of the other way around She’s not as pretty as her younger sistershyer than her younger sisternot as popular as her younger sister

The only thing I was ever better at than Dara was being ordinary And field hockey--like running a ball down a field is a great basis for a personality

"I’ like her," I say I leave the kitchen before Mo boots in the hall before taking the stairs two at a tins of the unfa and others added, like several plastic gno but a bare patch of carpet in the office where Dad’s favorite, ugly-ass leather chair used to sit, plus more and more cardboard boxes full of junk, as if another fa out

My rooanized spine-out and the powder-blue coverlet nicely folded and my stuffed animals from when I was a baby, Benny and Stuart, propped up on my pillows On my bedside table, I spot the framed picture of Dara and me from Hallohen I was a freshman; in it, we’re both dressed like scary clowns, and in our face paint, grinning, we look nearly identical I cross the roo better of it, I slide the photograph into a drawer

I don’t knohich is worse: that I’m home and so much is different, or that I’m home and so much feels the sa around her attic bedroo This is all Dara’s fault Dara’s the one who decided to stop speaking tolike I’ve got a bowling ball in h uts on the floor It’s her fault I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and when I do I just feel nauseous

Once upon a tiirlfriend, and Dara would have made up aOnce upon a tiht have come to ith me at FanLand just to keepout old-person smell and little-kid vomit from the ancient rides all by myself, and ould have competed over who could spot the most fanny packs in an hour or drink the