Page 8 (1/2)

"Amelia," Cam said as he and Merripen settled Leo into his bed, "we’ll need cans of hot water sent up fro you can spare And Win, perhaps you and Beatrix ht take Miss Marks to her room and help her?"

"Oh, no," Catherine protested, "thank you, but I don’t need assistance I can wash by myself and--"

Her objections were overridden, however Win and Beatrix would not relent until they had overseen her bath and helped to wash her hair and change her into a fresh gown The extra pair of spectacles was found, and Catherine was relieved to have her vision restored Win insisted on tending Catherine’s hands and applying salve and bandages to her fingers

Finally Catherine was allowed to go to Leo’s room, while Win and Beatrix went to wait downstairs She found Amelia, Cam, and Merripen all crowded around the bedside Leo was shirtless, and heaped with blankets It shouldn’t have surprised her that he was arguing simultaneously with the three of them

"We don’t need his permission," Merripen said to Cam "I’ll pour it down his throat if necessary"

"The hell you will," Leo growled "I’ll kill you if you try--"

"No one is going to force you to take it," Ca exasperated "But you have to explain your reasons, phral, because you’re notsense"

"I don’t have to explain You and Merripen can take that filthy stuff and shove it up your--"

"What is it?" Catherine asked from the doorway "Is there a problem?"

Amelia came out into the hallway, her face taut orry and vexation "Yes, the probleheaded idiot," she said, loudly enough for Leo to hear She turned to Catherine and lowered her voice "Cam and Merripen say the wound isn’t serious, but it could become very bad indeed if they don’t clean it properly The piece of timber slipped in between the clavicle and the shoulder joint, and there’s no way of knowing how deep it went They have to irrigate the wound to re fibers, or it will fester In other words, it’s going to be a bloody arded her with baffle to dull his senses"

"Yes But he won’t He keeps telling Cao ahead and treat the wound As if anyone could do such painstaking hen a ony"

"I told you I wouldn’t scream," Leo retorted fro her poetry"

Despite her consternation, Catherine al around the doorja was terrible, his sun-browned co like a wet dog As his gaze met hers, he looked so defiant and exhausted and , "A ith you, my lord, if I may?"

"By all means," came his sullen reply "I would so love to have soue with"

She entered the rooetic expression, she asked, "If I ave her a quizzical glance, clearly wondering what influence she thought she could have with Leo "Do what you can to persuade him to drink that medicine on the bedside table"

"And if that doesn’t work," Merripen added, "try a hard knock on the skull with that fireplace poker"

The pair went out into the hallway

Left alone with Leo, Catherine approached the bedside She winced at the sight of the stake e blood Since there was no bedside chair to sit on, she perched carefully on the edge of the mattress She stared at him steadily, her voice soft with concern "Why won’t you take the laudanuh "I can’t Believeto be like without it, but I have no choice It’s…" He stopped and looked away fro

"Why?" Catherine wanted so badly to reach hi his hand When no resistance was offered, she becaers beneath his cold paled "Please"

Leo’s hand turned and enclosed hers in a careful grip that sent a response through her entire body The sensation was one of relief, a feeling of so exactly into place They both stared at their joined hands, warers

"After Laura died," she heard him say thickly, "I behaved very badly Worse than I do now, if you can conceive it But no ave ht I went to the East End with a few of my more depraved companions, to an opiuhten in reaction "You could smell the smoke all down the alley The air was broith it They tookpell- The way the opiu in the dark"

"It sounds like a vision of hell," Catherine whispered

"Yes And hell was exactly where I wanted to be Soht me a pipe With the first draw, I felt so much better, I almost wept"

"What does it feel like?" she asked, her hand clutched fast in his

"In an instant, all is right with the world, and nothing, no uilt and fear and fury you’ve ever felt, lifting away like a feather on a breeze"

Perhaps once Catherine would have judged hi in such wickedness But now she felt compassion She understood the pain that had driven hi doesn’t last," she oes, you’re worse off than before You can’t take pleasure in anything The people you love don’t matter All you can think of is the opiuain"

Catherine stared at his partially averted profile It hardly seemed possible that this was the samehad ever seemed to ent When in truth, things had ently

"I reached the point at which the thought of going on was too da I had a pistol in my hand It was Carieve too host I had to let Laura go, he said For her sake" Leo looked at her then, his eyes a riveting blue "And I did I have I swore to leave off the opium, and since then I’ve never touched the filthy stuff Sweet Christ, Cat, you don’t kno hard it was It took everything I had to turn away If I went back to it even once … I ht find myself in the bottom of a pit I could never climb out of I can’t take that chance I won’t"

"Leo…" She saw him blink in surprise It was the first time she had ever used his name "Take the laudanum," she said "I won’t let you fall I won’t let you turn into a degenerate"

Histo take me on as your responsibility"

"Yes"

"I’e"

"No," Catherine said decisively, "you’re not"

He let out a , curious stare As if she were soht to know but couldn’t quite place