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"I would just like to talk to her If I could just get her tobetter, I think it would show her that I’ve changed, that I’ to do whatever it takes to be in her life"

"Okay, I see that we still have plenty to work on here"

And so it went Little by little, I began to accept that it really could be over between us Not as a break, but as a perh pill to s

It was roup therapy Months of hearing other people’s stories Some of them didn’t seem too bad, but others orse than lecting her baby for so long that it died in its crib while she got high

I processed that story for a while, haunted by the way she told it, as though it had happened to soot to me

Had I disconnected that much from my own life? And if so, how? How could I have been so selfish, so cruel, as to neglect the things aroundfor, e’d all been looking for, and that numbness had turned us into s the monster inside of me had done And with the fact that I was that an to cope with that realization, to accept it, that I began to open up in group

"I’ addict I’ cost me the love of my life"

I smiled sadly as I looked down atfor her the first time she called She wouldn’t talk to h a very slow filter via Jerry We constantly et the ball rolling

She wouldn’t even erous criminal

I tried not to dwell on that

It messed with me, my sanity, my will to stay sober, but I had to focus on the positive

I rounded up a few friends I’d met in rehab

Trinity was a twenty-year-old hein addict whose parents had already put her through rehab four tiest she’d been sober since she was fifteen years old She was a sweet, funny girl, and I had hopes that this tiirl, and wore a uniform black T-shirt and jeans Her short red hair was only long in the front, long enough to cover one eye, but she still ood eye contact

Todd was a twenty-five-year-old tattoo artist and a pain killer addict We wound up in the sauy, skinny, with bleach blond hair and enough tats to make me look like a blank canvas

I’d made the fastest friends in rehab, but unfortunately,friends Nearly everyone I’d ht h, were like a lifeline, very necessary for my own recovery process