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"Oh," he said, lifting his chin defiantly, "and you’re not like that?"

"I’ll bite," I said "What a," Sawyer declared "Though, as you pointed out, you don’t believe it Is there anything you honestly think you’re good at?"

"Being a cheerleader" I smoothed my hands over my short skirt, then lowered my voice to a whisper "Not the part where I babysit Grace and Cathy and Ellen" In a normal tone I said, "The part where I actually cheer and dance I love dancing And of course this would be what I really enjoy, because my mother makes a comment every ti to help get you a job as a professional cheerleader’ "

"It could be a backup career if your corporate takeover falls through," Sawyer said

"You laugh," I said "But lately, every ti, ‘I don’t want high school to end’ It’s partly because I don’t want to leavethe rest ofThat’s what e experience will be, too"

"Surely Coluht about it," I ad them on wouldn’t be much fun The whole school seems focused on academics They put classes ahead of sports in a way the entire state of Florida doesn’t really co out as a professional cheerleader?" he asked "You could do that while you’re in school I don’t think it pays et discovered asit for fun"

"Mythese wordsmyself for half a second in a low-cut bra top and shorts the size of panties, I shook my head sadly "I’ll bet I can’t try out until I’," Sawyer said "Men stillto prevent an eighteen-year-old froht"

I stared at Sawyer, atched hts caressed his face and released hiain I was so accusto me out of crazy schemes that I hardly ever came up with the a flashback to eighth grade, before I started dating Aidan, when hed and called one out offor my phone, then looked up the Giants "The Giants don’t have cheerleaders" I typed the Jets into the search engine "The Jets have a cheerleading squad called the Flight Crew That’s adorbs" I thued the tiny print "I can’t do it Tryouts are in March My o up to New York for that And I won’t be eighteen by the deadline But I could try out the next year, when I’m already at Columbia" I took a closer look at photos of the current squad "They would make me relax my hair"

"You don’t know that," Sawyer said, "but it makes an excellent excuse not to try"

I eyed hi next to nothing, and e you to do it, except that you obviously want to I think you understand the leering aspect and accept it, even want it And that’s okay"

"You wouldn’t be jealous about the ski, but suddenly I wanted so badly for hiht s to you," he said soleuy, and not your mom You really don’t seem to understand that"

Across the aisle from me, Cathy shifted in her sleep and nearly fell off her seat Instinctively I dodged away fro my hands over my phone screen

"It’s not a joint," Sawyer said

"I feel awful even looking this up, likecalculations about howyou feel that guilty is definitely worth doing"

I looked over at hi in and out of focus as the van rown as the ride went on I wondered if he uilty pleasure I’d reached the point that I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, or ever, if I didn’t find out

I bent to slipThen I moved toward him

His eyes widened, but he didn’t back away

I cradled his chin in ertips

His lips parted He looked a little outraged, honestly, like this was unseeht about the expression on his face, I would have backed away But I was sick to death of thinking I kissed him