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We heard nothing from Hallie First I tried to tell er In the past, the teek delay of her letters had caused me to keep a distrustful eye on Hallie, like a star so o while we still watched its false shine Now I tried the reverse psychology: ould hear, soon, that she’d been safe while orried

But we didn’t, and I gave over to panic I began to call Managua every week The Minister of Agriculture, whose secretary no me by voice, said there wasn’t any reason forI could do there but wait, which-he ih where I was He really was not unkind, just frustrated, like any of us He pointed out that Hallie was an exceptional person, to those of us who loved her, but not an exceptional case-the contras made daily forays across the border to attack workers in their fields, sometimes even schoolchildren Thousands of civilians had died "If you came here," he said, "you would see" Every horaph on a table that stood for a fresh empty space in the family, he said Teachers and coht try eneral public in the United States It could pressure her captors to show restraint; or, he warnedelse to do, so I wrote letters Emelina helped We papered her kitchen table with letters in progress I drafted h School principal’s office, but the letterhead intimidated Emelina, who preferred lined paper from her kids’ loose-leaf notebooks Viola put a request to the Stitch and Bitch Club, and after that we had volunteers in E sessions I dictated theof it I looked up who had voted for sending the guns, and who had voted against, and either e tried to work it in I expect we sent out ressain We wrote radio stations and any other public entity we believedits mail Sometimes I stopped and laid e the back of , because we both suspected words were beside the point

There et the New York Times in Grace I do know there was a short piece in the Tucson ht next to an article about how to reduce your e with twice- photo of Hallie, as identified as a former employee of the University Extension Service The reporter had called up the Minister of Agriculture as I’d suggested, and said that he "alleged" she had been kidnapped by agitators based in Honduras This was followed by a uan civil as a tragedy, and that the United States was doing its best to bring deo there without expecting to be caught in crossfire

The reporter, believing I would be pleased, sentnorance made me feel hopeless, as I’ve sometimes felt in dreams, when the muscles dissolve and escape is impossible I wept uncontrollably all day At school I askedfor an hour while I put my head down on my desk and cried They were subdued I suspected people in Grace of walking around ht avert its eyes when its resident crazy lady hikes up her skirt and scratches an itch and swears at the blackbirds watching fro to Doc Homer’s for dinner We were in the worst position to coo on about his routine-that had always been the core of his resilience-but I don’t think I’d slept a single night since she’d been taken, and I was reaching an abnorht off hallucinations Late one night Hallie appeared inup at me With those same eyes she used to ask without words to crawl intoso hard But I don’t kno to save you"

She turned on stocking feet and walked back into the dark

I got up and rifledwith her picture I looked at it hard, trying to convince myself that Hallie wasn’t a child I had the black-and-red afghan bundled around me but I felt chilled and hard as a frozen branch My hands shook I tucked the clipping into an envelope and wrote a note to the President of the United States, begging him please just to look at her "This isto understand responsibility You gave those uns If she dies, ill you tell me?" I licked the envelope and sealed it I knew the address by heart