Page 64 (1/1)

We sat not looking at each other for a ainst"This isn’t about your deficiencies, Loyd It’s just me I can’t stay here There’s a poem by Robert Frost about this pitiful old hired hand who comes back home when he’s run out of luck because he knows they won’t kick him out The poeo there, They have to take you in’" I stroked the tendons on the back of Loyd’s hand "I don’t want to be seen as pitiful I cao after this I wish" I turned my face toward theso he wouldn’t see tears "I’d like to find a place that feels like it wants to take me in But this isn’t it At the end of the school year et attached, you and a roo to be sent to El Paso soon I was stunned that he would walk away frouess that’s just what I’d asked him to do, walk away His T-shirt was inside out, and he took it off and switched it around, still ainst his ear He’d been put on hold I watched hih the doorway and realized that the er I’d never seen Loyd mad, and was surprised he was capable of it

I felt lost I got up, throwing back the afghan and draping the flannel sheet aroundroom The floor was cold I shifted frouely like the Statue of Liberty Jack on the front doorstep was scratching his neck vigorously, jingling his tags That dog had the patience of Job

"What’s going on?" I asked, when Loyd hung up the phone

"I’m five times out Plenty of time for a fuck"

"That’s not what I meant Loyd, I don’t think you’re du your plans for"

I laughed "As if I had plans"

He looked atback and forth betweento decide which door concealed the prize "What would happen if you stayed here, Codi?"

"I would have the wrong haircut Everybody would re ’Oh, honey,’ they’d say, ’you’re still here? I heard you were on your way to Rio de Janeiro to have tea with Princess Grace’ And I’d say, ’No, I’ve grown up to be the new Doc Ho over his practice so I can save the town’"

"Save us frouys can all just go to hell" I laughed, since the other choice was to cry He took ainst his chest like an armful of laundry "This toas never kind to ot asked out on dates Except by you, and you were so drunk you didn’t know better"

"You knoe used to call you in high school? Empress of the Universe"

"That’s just what I mean! And you didn’t care that the Eht to a cold castle where the king stos and we are housebroken"

Loyd see much I’d hide in my room and cry because I had to wear orthopedic shoes and was unfit to live"

He turned my chin to face him I hadn’t noticed before that without shoes ere the saer-but our chins punched in at the same altitude "So, where you headed now, Eet lost a lot I keep hoping souy with ’Ron’ or ’Andy’ stitched on his pocket and a gas pump in his hand will step up and tell me where I’rin "I’ll tell you You’re going with ood at The best"

I tried to figure this out Behind his smile there was a look in his eyes that was profoundly earnest It dawned on hting cock is an anis are s, and when he’s affronted his neck feathers puff into a fierce mane like a lion’s Individuality has been lost in the breeding lines; function is everything To me each bird looked like any other I couldn’t tell the differently