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MAC

My philosophy is pretty siood day in ood days lately

I reflect on the highlights of the past year:

July 5, the day my sister, Alina, called e that I ended up not hearing until weeks later She was murdered, abandoned in a trash-filled alley shortly after she placed that call

August 3, the night I arrived in Dublin, saw lamour and realized either I was crazy or the world was Turns out the world was but that didn’t help le afternoon in Faery, playing volleyball with an illusion of my dead sister

October 3, I was tortured and nearly killed by the varotto beneath the Burren That’s the night I learned to eat the flesh of dark Fae for its healing properties and the enorht the walls between -raped by four Unseelie princes and turned into a mindless shell of a woman, an addict to Fae sex

Novees ripped cleanly fro nohellishly Pri-ya to find I’d spent all that time in bed with Jericho Barrons

Then there’s that date I’ll never know--ie the day, year, or even century in the Silvers--when I killed Barrons and, believing hi the Sinsar Dubh so I could re-create a world with him in it

More of January and February: lost in the Silvers, working with the eneht I learned the girl I loved like a sister was the one who’d killed my sister

May 16, the day we reinterred the Sinsar Dubh in the underground chamber at the abbey and I discovered V’lane was really Cruce, one ofwith the erous Unseelie prince in existence

June 26, the day I chased Dani into the Hall of All Days, a place I didn’t dare follow If I had a do-over, I’d leap through that damned Silver and chase her anyway, despite the formidable odds

July 22, I discovered who Jada was, and that one, leaving behind a controlled, hurim tally

One year five days after I first touched ust 8: the day the Sinsar Dubh won And all it had to do to defeat es here and there, until Ithat forbidden line It took my hostile squatter a mere two and a half months from the day I buried the corporeal Book beneath the abbey to seducefor a spell to su and de fro a shell of who I was--all because I’d been afraid the Sinsar Dubhit

It had

I understand so now: that which we fear, we soe in a dance, as toxically intimate as a pair of suspicious lovers Perhaps it’s because deep doant to face it Perhaps it’s just the way the universe works; we’re netized waltzers and our hopes and fears emit some kind of electrical impulses that attract all that we dream, and all that we dread We live and die on a dance floor of our ownwhere it’s silent and still, I begin to apprehend with acute clarity every single thing I did wrong