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As a kid he wished for money or fame or toys or friends More recent wishes were for so s, all of them synonymous with love or escape

He worries he’s ruined it now, by suddenly being serious That’s always been his proble

Avery doesn’t ask him what he wished for He doesn’t need to

"Here," he says "Maybe you didn’t do it right"

Avery takes the penny andwhat’s happening Then Avery leans in and kisses hi the penny When he pulls back, the penny falls, and he catches it in his palm

"Now make a wish," he says

And Ryan thinks, I want to be happy

"Got it?" Avery asks

Ryan nods, and Avery tosses the penny into the well They both listen, but neither hears it land Then Avery returns to hi between them Lips closed, then lips open Hands empty, then hands entwined

A minute or two of this, then Avery pulls back and says, "We’re only half done!"

They walk, fingers still woven together, to the tenth hole

"It’s a cloud," Ryan says "The whole thing is a cloud"

They beco within clouds that they don’t hear the footsteps, don’t hear the laughter conore

Ryan turns and sees who’s co

"What?" Avery asks

And Ryan says, "Oh shit"

Harry is crying He is in soup, and his bladder feels like it’s full of rocks, and he isn’t choosing to cry, but his eyes are crying nonetheless He’s lost control of the, except for his lips All of the control that he has left, he has to put there Even as his body is shouting surrender Even as hishim there is no way to last another five hours

There are four of them Avery has no idea who they are, and neither do we, but just like us, Avery has so looks, the swagger in the walk, the alhter It’s a particular brand of assle, easily found in teenage boys traveling in packs

"What’s up, Ryan?" one of theo of Avery’s hand

"What do you want, Skylar?" he says

"We saw a car out front What are you boys up to?"

Avery sees now that Skylar and one of the other guys are holding golf clubs Skylar sees hiround and swings the club, knocking the bottle in Ryan and Avery’s direction Ryan doesn’t flinch, but Avery does

We don’t need to tell you what Skylar’s like, do we? You s, he’s a powerless cog So he exerts as much power as he can in any situation he can dominate He tries to build his self-worth on the backs of others, and it works a little, but never enough It doesn’t ive hiratification as sex or drugs He doesn’t hate Ryan, not really He just sees in him an opportunity to be in control Especially with an audience

Ryan tries to stay away from him--tries to stay away from all of them Because there are alwaysto have to fight thees to avoid theether Or that’s what he’s told hie Do not make it worse Walk away Not run away--don’t be a coward, don’t let them see your fear Walk away

If Avery wasn’t here, that’s what he’d be doing Tell the over the course to the aith that now It’s

Skylar lines up another bottle, and this tiuys find this hilarious

Avery can feel hi into survival uys want?" Ryan spits out

"So tough!" Skylar olf club at Ryan’s face

Or at least he olf club at Ryan’s face At the last possible moment, he holds on to it But not before Ryan’s lifted up his ared from the blow that never co for the fakeout As the guys are laughing so hand on Ryan’s back, wants to tell him it’s okay But he can’t do that, because he’s not sure what kind of reaction that will get, and also he’s not sure if it really is okay

What Avery doesn’t know is that Ryan’s humiliation isn’t just from the mouys like Skylar They’ve trespassed all over his life, spit and stoed to build This is the true tyranny--not the actual taunts or shoves, but the exhaustion that co, so relentlessly

It killed us, to be picked on, to be ridiculed for being so eren’t even allowed to be So y as an insult, an aboot before we even knehat that meant Not all of us--some of us hid so deep that no one could find our weakness Some of us were bullies ourselves in order to cover our tracks, or because we hated ere so much that we had to attack it in other people A lot of us had to suffer at the hands of people ere duer, just because they were louder, just because of who their fathers were or what team they were on, or because they had the sheer nerve to kick us around while we didn’t have the defenses to fight back

There was always a time before ere ue with Skylar Theirhere