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"Well, it’s getting pretty intense"

Neil knows that this is the s feel a little different now But Peter’s too focused on the boys on the screen, isn’t asking hi his reaction together--he doesn’t want Peter’s take on the situation until he has his own Or at least that’s what he tells hi silent The truth is, Peter will understand, but only up to a point Peter has never had to have such a conversation with his parents Peter has never felt like an outsider in his own house He ht claim there were moments he has But he hasn’t really Not fro," Peter says "It’s been twenty-four hours Only eightat the kiss, yes But his eye naturally goes to Harry’s torso

In 1992, when over two hundred thousand of us were infected and over ten thousand had died, Calvin Klein launched a new ad ca and you are male, most conceptions you have of your bodily ideal can be traced to those advertisements Every Hollister model that calls out to you, every voice in your head that tells you that abs need "definition," every ounce of the Abercrombie myth can be traced directly to Marky Mark Whether you subscribe to these ideals or reject them, they are the unrealistic standard yousold to you

Harry’s torso is not like this It dares to be a regular body as it is broadcast out a all the ideals He is neither fat nor thin There is a line of hair from his chest to his jeans His stomach is not taut You cannot see his abs

In other words, he reers, the ere before the world set in

Why is Marky Mark s in those ads? It’s not just that he has a perfect body No, it’s as if he knows that soon enough, our bodies will be broadcast Soon enough, our ies will enter the ether Everyone ant to look like hi looked at all the ti looked at But what he looks like is the farthest thing froainst you--when the surface value of the skin is nothing compared to the fireworks of pain in your muscles and your bones--the supposed truth of beauty falls away, because there are more important concerns to attend to

Believe us We know this

Avery wonders why Ryan is looking at him out of the corner of his eye, why Ryan would rather watch him than watch the road Even when friends look at Avery, a s for flaws, irregularities In this, Avery isn’t all that different fro for

Finally, Avery can’t stand it The look Then a knowing smile Then another look

"What?" he asks

This only makes Ryan smile more "I’m sorry," he says "I don’t usually like people So when I do, part of me is really a"

Maybe this is e like watching you sopast the experience, although itness new things all the time But you New is not just a fact New can be an e?" Avery asks It is not meant as an existential question He just wants to knohat they’re doing next

"I figured we’d start with pancakes Do you want pancakes?"

"It’s hard to iine a scenario where soo to the pancake house Because it’s a s out who else is inside before co for anyone in particular?"

Ryan suess"

"How h school?"

"About two hundred You?"

"Eighty"

"You must stick out I ht in"

"Trying to blend in would be like being put through a blender I abstain"

Avery finds this funny "What did you just say?"

"I said, ‘I abstain’ "

"Is that what you say when the popular kids try to get you to hang out with the in There are just tooa wallflower’ "

"Yup That’s precisely what I say But do they stop? No The popular kids keep bugginglike dogs I’m embarrassed for them"

"I know precisely how you feel"

To emphasize his point, Avery squeezes Ryan’s hand It’s such an openly lament of this

"Part of you is amused," Avery says "And part of you doesn’t believe this is happening"

Ryan nods "And in the Pancake Century Diner, of all places"

"Well," Avery says, "it is the Pancake Century, after all"

The waitress co his hand away, but neither of the thinks of pancakes He thinks of war He thinks of the savory se juice He tries to conjure their taste, but taste is elusive when it comes to memory So instead he has to rely on his memory of how they look How they smell How happy theyCraig feels awful for thinking it, but the thought is there: If they don’t ’s texted over his shoulder, asked hi now that he’s cooled down, he’s back on track But Craig can feel the lie throughout Harry’s body, can touch the tightto keep hi

And I was never the stronger one Craig allows hih their relationship, Harry was the one in charge, Harry was the one who gave them direction This wasn’t because Harry was s was; it justdidn’t really care, so he ceded it away He liked not being responsible all the time