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Caitlin is the girl ould’ve let ourselves be paired with, if ere going to be paired with a girl After years of trying to rise in the world of corporate insurance, she quit and is now going for her library degree Her sense of huuishable from her sense of self And her love for Ryan is the hted by expectations, untempered by motives All she has to do is like his she does well Her responsibility to him is completely voluntary, and that’s what ood impression, and is too nervous to realize this won’t be hard When Caitlin asks how they est story in the history of huas that was left in his tank after the drive ho too much, but Ryan and Caitlin don’t seeoes on When it’s over, Caitlin asks, "And this was how o?" It’s Ryan who sht"

"It makes sense," Caitlin says "With so, it feels like you’ve known them for years It onlyall the time you should’ve known each other, but didn’t That time still counts You can definitely feel it"

Avery knows he should be trying to get Ryan away, should be trying to get hi down to the moment he’ll have to leave--he pro the co to think of this as ht now, it is

"Do you want to see so photos of Ryan dressed up as Britney Spears for Halloween?" Caitlin asks

How can Avery say no?

Meanwhile, Cooper has been chatting with Antimatter for almost an hour As far as Antimatter knows, Cooper is a nineteen-year-old student at the local county college He’sin finance and has two roommates, one of whom is a drunk Antiotten his own place and is working as the er of a coffee shop He’s a painter, too, but there hasn’t been much money in that so far Cooper used to want to be a painter, and finds hi Antimatter this Antimatter asks what happened, and Cooper says he lost interest Story of my life, Cooper tells him Antimatter responds, Story isn’t over yet

Cooper is a little interested and a little bored To up the ante, he sends a shirtless pic to Antireat body Cooper asks him if he wants to meet up Antimatter says sure--maybe after dinner? Cooper wonders what dinner plans Antimatter has, but doesn’t ask He just says that’d be fine He suggests the Starbucks he’s sitting in Anti as they don’t have to drink the coffee Cooper, who’s already had three, is okay with that

Now that the date is set, Antis

But before I go … what’s your name?

Drake, Cooper answers

Hi, Drake I’m Julian

Cooper can’t help it--he liked him better as Antimatter

But he doesn’t cancel theas du as we have, you begin to see all the angles that existed in your life, especially the ones you were too blind to see at the time You have plenty of time to chart the paths of your major and minor mistakes, and to have a newfound sympathy for the mistakes other people make At times, ere helpless, it’s true But other times ere heartless We screwed ourselves up, screwed other people over, said words we didn’t knoould hurt, said words precisely because we knew they would wound Even after ent through, no retroactive saintliness can be granted We understand our fk ups more now from a distance, but that doesn’t make them any less real

You must understand: We were like Cooper Or at least we had moments ere like Cooper Just as we had , Tariq, Avery, Ryan We had moments ere like each of you

This is hoe understand We wore your flaws We wore your fears We made your ’s kiss, a popular blogger with hair an even brighter pink than Avery’s posts about Harry and Craig and tells the world to get behind what they’re doing

The nuoes from 3,928 to 40,102 within five minutes, and then to 103,039 five , Craig’s mother stands up from her chair and walks over to him She asks Smita if it’s possible for her to remain off ca to her son Set back ho’s mother tells him "Your father and your brothers will be home soon, and I should be there" She pauses It is clear fro Harry at the sa to have to tell the If they find out fro wants to say yes, knows he could make his voice say "uh-huh" at the very least, but that doesn’t feel right The sign they agreed upon for yes is a thu can’t think of anything else So he gives his ’s mother takes a deep breath She is not finished After she exhales she says, in a voice as level as she can ry at you Not because you are gy We will deal with that But to find out this way … it’s not what I would have wanted I a to talk about the gives his mother a thumbs-up He feels ridiculous

His ?" she asks

For a ’s heart feels entirely porous Not because his mother has asked such a monumental question, but because it’s such an ordinary one This is theto Walgreens or the grocery store As if nothing has changed

There is no way for Craig to say, I need you to convince Dad and Sam and Kevin that this is fine I need you to support me as much as Harry’s parents support hi, because it will matter so much more if you are I need you to co to drown froht, then," she says "I’ll go"

He wants her to co him Or at least put her hand on his shoulder