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So he closes his contacts He opens an app He decides to talk to soes on his phone, too He ignores the, and his nerves crescendo He re about Ryan, but doesn’t really know ht was an aberration--what if, in the ordinary daylight of an ordinary day, the feeling of serendipity dissipates?

We called this hopegoggling The fear that nightti will show that the things you hoped were happening weren’t really happening, that your heart got ahead of itself And, let’s be honest, a lot of the ti, and it swayed us Or the euphoria of the heliuh to lift us into the realar rush had worn off The next day, there was very little left to say to each other

But soic we’d created had reht Because if it could be a part of our day, that meant it could be a part of our lives And if it could be a part of our lives, it was a h this so many times, but Avery has never felt like this before He doesn’t know yet that doubt lingers around anticipation like bees hover around flowers The trick is to not let the doubt inti away Doubt is an acceptable risk for happiness

We count down the minutes until Avery pulls into Ryan’s driveway We count down the seconds until Ryan opens the door, co outside Because we know that the best antidote for doubt is presence Magic naturally fades over distance But proxiic

The blue-haired boy smiles as he approaches the pink-haired boy The pink-haired boy gets out of his car, finds the blue-haired boy waiting for him They say their hellos They teeter in an aard , a this-er needed--because the moment is now

Harry and Craig have taken their last proper bathroom breaks for the next thirty-two hours, twelve o Ms Luna holds a stopwatch Other friends have gathered Harry’s parents give the two boys two thumbs up

It’s ti’s ear

"I love you"

And Craig leans over and whispers into Harry’s ear

"I love you, too"

Nobody hears them but us

Then it’s here Months of preparation, weeks of practice, and years of living have led up to thisso many times, but this is different from all of the kisses that have co kisses, the kisses used to punctuate their liking of each other, the kisses that were both proof and engine of their desire Then the -serious kisses, followed by the relationship kisses--that variety pack, soned, so out and kisses that led to saying goodbye Kisses to mark territory, kisses meant only for private, kisses that lasted hours and kisses that were gone before they’d arrived Kisses that said, I know you Kisses that pleaded, Co Or at least Harry’s kisses knew they weren’t working Craig’s kisses still believed So the kissing had to stop Harry had to tell Craig And it was bad, but not as bad as he feared They had built a friendship strong enough to withstand the disappearance of kisses It was off balance at first, for sure--their bodies not knohat to do, thestill there, because even when the mind shuts off the roet the h that, and they never stopped hugging, never abandoned all contact Then Craig had this idea, and Harry wanted to do it Enough tiain, the electricity was gone, replaced by so with a purpose, but the purpose wasn’t the the kiss to keep their love alive, but were using their friendship to keep the kiss alive First forfor hours, was staying awake Focusing To be connected to so entirely into yourself Because when you kiss someone, you can’t really see them They become a blur You must use touch as your touchstone, breath as your conversation After many attempts, they found their rhythm They otten And now here they were, trying forAll to prove a point And maybe it’s all of the hours andthis kiss ht it would be Their lips e It doesn’t rise froh it isn’t what they had planned, he finds hi’s waist, finds hi him a little more than the rehearsal kisses The s s’s breathing, in his lips, in his body Harry wants to svast and inarticulate that fills his lungs, fills his head He has no idea what he’s gotten into, no idea what this all ht it out so many times But what use is abstraction when it co and feels there is soer than the two of them just outside the kiss He doesn’t reach out to it--not yet But he knows it’s there And that makes this unlike any other kiss they’ve ever shared before I is still thrown by the I love you that Harry whispered to hiins

TariqHe ht now, Tariq is the only viewer online

We settle in We watch

Ryan doesn’t invite Avery inside his house, and Avery doesn’t ask why

"Where are we headed?" Avery asks once they’re both strapped into their seats "What’s the best Kindling has to offer?"

Ryan is torn The Kindling Café is easily the best Kindling has to offer But because of that,the wi-fi and hanging out If he takes Avery there, it will becoroup event, not yet

So there’s only one destination that makes any kind of sense

"The river," he tells Avery "How do you feel about heading to the river?"

"I feel great about heading to the river," Avery replies

Exactly what Ryan wants to hear

One of thethe e died was the way it robbed us of the outdoor world and trapped us in the indoor world For every one of us as able to die peacefully on a deck chair, blanket pulled high, as the wind stirred his hair and the sun warlimpse of the world hite walls and metal machinery, the tease of a , the inadequate flowers in a vase, elected representatives from the wilds we had lost Our last breaths were of clis