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You can’t knohat it is like for us now--you will always be one step behind

Be thankful for that

You can’t knohat it was like for us then--you will always be one step ahead

Be thankful for that, too

Trust us: There is a nearly perfect balance between the past and the future As we become the distant past, you becoined

It’s hard to think of such things when you are busy drea The context falls away We are a spirit-burden you carry, like that of your grandparents, or the friends from your childhood who at soht a burden as possible And at the same time, e see you, we cannot help but think of ourselves We were once the ones ere drea We were once the ones ere living, and then ere the ones ere dying We sewed ourselves, a thread’s width, into your history

We were once like you, only our world wasn’t like yours

You have no idea how close to death you caht be here with us

We resent you You astonish us

It’s 8:07 on a Friday night, and right now Neil Ki over to his boyfriend Peter’s house They have been going out for a year, and Neil starts by thinking about how long this see him it won’t last But now, even if it doesn’t last forever, it feels like it has lasted long enough to be ful Peter’s parents treat Neil like a second son, and while Neil’s own parents are still alternately confused and distressed, they haven’t barred any of the doors

Neil has two DVDs, two bottles of Diet Dr Pepper, cookie dough, and a book of poems in his backpack This--and Peter--is all it takes for him to feel profoundly lucky But luck, we’ve learned, is actually part of an invisible equation Two blocks away froliratitude He realizes that part of his good fortune is his place in history, and he thinks fleetingly of us, the ones who came before We are not naratitude is a rare thing--it is much more likely for a boy to feel thankful for the Diet Dr Pepper than he is to feel thankful for being healthy and alive, for being able to walk to his boyfriend’s house at age fifteen without any doubt that this is the right thing to do

He has no idea how beautiful he is as he walks up that path and rings that doorbell He has no idea how beautiful the ordinary becoer now, it is unlikely that you kneell We are your shadow uncles, your angel godfathers, your e, the author of that book you found in the gy section of the library We are characters in a Tony Kushner play, or naets taken out anyeneration You know sos

We do not want to haunt you too soravitas You wouldn’t want to live your life like that, and you won’t want to be remembered like that, either YourThe living part ht you how to dance

It’s true Look at Tariq Johnson on the dance floor Seriously--look at hihty pounds, all of which can be converted by the right clothes and the right song into a ht hair helps, too) He treats his body like it’salone or dancing with everyone in the room? Here’s the secret: It doesn’t et to the city, and when it’s all over, it will take hiet ho and h all of these things are important Freedom is also about what you will allow yourself to do We watch Tariq when he’s sitting in Spanish class, sketching iinaryin the cafeteria, stealing glances at older boys We watch Tariq as he lays the clothes on his bed, creating the outline of the person he’s going to be tonight We spent years doing these things And this e looked forward to, the thing that Tariq looks forward to This liberation

Music isn’t much different now from what it e hit the dance floor Thisuniversal We bottled that desire, then released it into the airwaves The sounds hit your body, and you move

We are in those particles that send you We are in that music

Dance for us, Tariq

Feel us there in your freedo to kill ourselves, we started to die Just ere feeling strength, it was taken from us