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"Thank God I found youl"

It’s not Noah saying this It’s Infinite Darlene, right behind ?" she asks

Now, I really like Infinite Darlene But a all my friends, she’s usually the last I introduce to new people I have to prepare them Because Infinite Darlene doesn’t make the best first impression She seems very full of herself Which she is It’s only after you get to know her better that you realize that soed to encoe, so that when she’s acting full of herself, she’s actually full of her close friends, too

There is no way I can expect Noah to understand this

I try to send Infinite Darlene a look to let her know she’s interrupting, without actually telling her out loud

It doesn’t work

"You must be that boy Paul likes," she says to Noah

I turn Elmo red

"And boy," Infinite Darlene continues, "you sure are cute"

The first time Infinite Darlene talked to me like this, I stuttered for days Noah sirls at this school as nice as you?" he asks "If so, I’ht at her as he says it And I can tell that even Infinite Darlene is a little taken aback, because it’s clear he’s seeing her just as she wants to be seen So few people do that

With two sentences, he’s ed to win over my most critical friend

I am in awe

I am alsoSure, I’m about as s to win hiht be)

Of course Infinite Darlene will only let a beat last so long before stepping in again

"Is this awful, vile ruently"

"Do you mind if I derail for a second?" I ask Noah, then quickly add, "Please stay"

"No problem," he says

That settled, I face Infinite Darlene In heels, she is easily six inches taller than ently, I talk to her chin

"It appears that Joni has started so with--"

"StopI" Infinite Darlene interrupts, stepping back and holding up her hand "I can’t take any more Why, Paul? Why?"

"I don’t know

"He’s scuue with a football captain who has long fingernails

"Haven’t I taught her anything?" Infinite Darlene is clearly exasperated "Ithe bottom of your stiletto"

Clearly, Infinite Darlene still feels soirl and talk so to dissuade her, but we both know there’s no way I’ to stop her She leaves in a huff

"Friend of yours?" Noah asks, eyebrow raised