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"But that’s not how I feel," I protested My attention was a little distracted because Ted was now pulling up Greg Easton’s shirt, and that was kind of cool "How I feel is what’s right … right?"

"For you, yes," Mrs Benchly told ht for you Always reht, I heldnews until after my favorite Nickelodeon block was over My father was in the kitchen, doing dishes Myon the couch Quietly, I walked over to her

"GUESS WHATI" I said She jumped, then tried to pretend she hadn’t been surprised Since she didn’t close her book--she only er--I knew I didn’t have y!"

Parents never react the way you want theht, at the very least, er out of the book But no Instead she turned in the direction of the kitchen and yelled to my father

"Honey … Paul’s learned a neord"

It took ot used to it

Besides my parents, Joni was the first person I ever carade

We were under my bed at the time We were under my bed because Joni had come over to play, and under my bed was easily the coolest place in the whole house We had brought flashlights and were telling ghost stories as a laer grrrrred outside We pretended it was the Griame: Avoid Death

"So a poisonous snake has just bitten your left arm--what do you do?" Joni asked

"I try to suck the poison out"

"But that doesn’t work It’s spreading up your arm…"

"So I take my axe and chop off my ar to death"

"So I pull off my shirt and tie it around the stump to stop the blood"

"But a vulture s down at you

"So I use ht arm to pick up the left arm that I cut off, and I use it to bat the vulture away!"

"But…"

Joni trailed off At first, I figured I had her stu She srease Before I knew it, her lips were co near mine I was so freaked out, I stood up Since ere still under my bed, I crashed into the bottom of my mattress