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Chapter One

I watch his car as it pulls into the parking lot I watch hi toward its center--but he isn’t looking for ht here I could call out for hiirls do, always calling out to their boyfriends

It hurts that I can be so full of hiht is the reason he isn’t looking forLikestupid, with other non-stupid things right underneath All I did was ask hio to Steve’s party on Saturday That was it And he askedhi to pin him down, as if he won’t want to be with me if I don’t ask him about it months ahead of time I told him it wasn’tout what’s next

Mistake Calling hi mistake That’s probably the only word he heard

"You have no idea what you’re talking about," he said

"I was talking about a party at Steve’s house on Saturday," I told him, my voice way too upset for either of us "That’s all"

But that’s not all Justin loves me and hates me as much as I love hiers, and we should never reach in to pull them But sometimes we can’t help ourselves We know each other too well, but never well enough

I am in love with someone who’s afraid of the future And, like a fool, I keep bringing it up

I follow hiirl would belot

As I’ to his locker, I wonder which Justin I’ll find there It probably won’t be Sweet Justin, because it’s rare for Sweet Justin to show up at school And hopefully it won’t be Angry Justin, because I haven’t done anything that wrong, I don’t think I’ for Chill Justin, because I like Chill Justin When he’s around, we can all calm down

I stand there as he takes his books out of his locker I look at the back of his neck because I a so physical about it, so that makes me want to lean over and kiss it

Finally, he looks at ht away It’s like he’s trying to figure ure hin, because n, because he doesn’t understand why I’m here

"Hey," he says

"Hey," I say back

There’s so atThere’s always so Which is weird Then, even weirder, he asks me, "Are you okay?"

Ime that