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I wake up feverish, sore, uncomfortable

July’s ht

Is it sickness or is it heartbreak?

I can’t tell

The thermometer says I’m normal, but clearly I’m not

Day 6032

An email from Rhiannon Finally

I want to see you, but I’oing on, but I’ain I love you--I do--but I a that love too i to leaveto leave

R

I don’t kno to respond to that Instead, I try to lose ht with him at lunchtime, over the fact that he never spends time with her anymore Howie doesn’t have much to say about that In fact, he stays entirely silent, which only infuriates her further

I have to go, I think If there are things I will never have here, there are also things I will never find here Things Ias Alexander Lin His alar up much easier

I also like his room Plenty of books on the shelves, souitars in the corner, one electric, the aht before In another corner, there’s a lireen couch, and I know immediately this is a place where friends come to crash, this is their home away from home He has Post-its all over the place with rando froe Bernard Shaw: Dance is the perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire So, but others have been written by friends I am the walrus I’m nobody--who are you? Let all the dreaotten to know him, Alexander Lin has made me smile

His parents are happy to see him I have a sense that they’re always happy to see hi to be okay for the weekend?" his erator, which looks like it’s been stocked for at least a , just use thehere; there is so I access and discover it’s the Lins’ anniversary to on an anniversary trip And Alexander’s gift for them is up in his room

"One second," I say I run upstairs and find it in his closet--a bag festooned with Post-its, each of the his parents have said to him over the years, from A is for Apple to Always re When I bring the bag down to Mr and Mrs Lin, they open it to find ten hours of music for their ten-hour drive, as well as cookies Alexander has baked for the, and Alexander’s et who I really am

Alexander’s locker is also covered in Post-it quotes, in a rainbow of handwritings His best friend, Mickey, comes by and offers him half a muffin--the bottom half, because Mickey only likes the tops

Mickey starts telling es--agesat least three weeks I feel the perverse desire to tell Mickey about Rhiannon, who is only tay I access and find that Alexander doesn’t have any crushes himself at the moment, but if he did, they’d be female Mickey doesn’t pry too much about this And quickly other friends find the Battle of the Bands Apparently, Alexander is playing in at least three of the entrants, including Mickey’s band He’s that kind of guy, alilling to chip in with soresses, I can’t help but feel that Alexander is the kind of person I try to be But part of what makes his personality work is his ability to stick around, to be there day in and day out for people His friends rely on him, and he relies on them--the simple balance on which so many lives are built