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"That ood hundred feet from the real subject I have to move us closer

"Is it over now? With the two of you?"

"Yes So I guess you got what you wanted"

"That’s an aay to put it," I say "Don’t you want it, too?"

"Yes But not like that Not in front of everybody like that"

I reach up to touch her face, but she flinches I lower my hand

"You’re free of him," I tell her

She shakes her head I’ve said yet another thing wrong

"I forget how little you know about these things," she says "I forget how inexperienced you are I’m not free of him, A Just because you break up with someone, it doesn’t mean you’re free of him I’m still attached to Justin in a hundred different ways We’re just not dating any to take me years to be free of him"

But at least you’ve started, I want to say At least you’ve cut that one attachht be what she knows, but it’s not what she wants to hear

"Should I have gone to Hawaii?" I ask

She softens to me then It’s such an absurd question, but she knohat I mean

"No, you shouldn’t have I want you here"

"With you?"

"With me When you can be"

I want to promise more than that, but I know I can’t

We both stay there, on our tightrope Not looking down, but not hts to Hawaii, and e’re sure there’s no way Michael’s faet him on a plane, Rhiannon drives irl you were yesterday," she asks So I do And when I’m done, and a sadness fills the car, I decide to tell her about other days, other lives Happier I share with herelephants at zoos and circuses, memories of first kisses and near first kisses in rec-room closets and at Boy Scout sleepovers and scary h I haven’t experienced so et closer and closer to Michael’s house