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NIGHTMARE ICE CREAM

Nerve thru and devouring and terrible and terrible and terrible--

"Eliza Eliza!"

A voice Bright light, and Eliza fell awake That’s how it felt: like falling and landing hard "It was a dream," she heard herself say "It was just a dream I’m okay"

How many times in her life had she spoken those words? More than she could count This was the first tih, that she’d spoken the a claw ha ," said her roo no sign of murderers He was sleep-disheveled and h and ready "I "

"I know," said Eliza, her throat raw "I do that soht in bed Her heartbeat felt like cannon fire--dooh her entire body, and though hershallow, she tried to sound nonchalant "Sorry to wake you"

Blinking, Gabriel lowered the hammer "That’s not what I meant, Eliza I’ve never heard anyone sound like that in real life That was a horror-movie scream"

He sounded a little impressed Go away, Eliza wanted to say Please Her hands were starting to tremble Soon she wouldn’t be able to control it, and she didn’t want a witness The adrenaline crash could be pretty bad after the drea Pressure building, the sting behind her eyelids, and all of it out of her control

Damn damn damn

She doubled over and hid her face in her bedspread as the sobs welled up and took her over As bad as the dream was--and it was bad--the aftermath orse, because she was conscious but still powerless The terror--the terror, the terror--lingered, and there was so else It came with the dream, every ti a tide had washed in So awful--a rank leviathan corpse left to rot on the shore of her od, that was too bloodless a word for it This feeling the drea bright atop a red and uilt

Guilt over what? That was the worst part It was… dear god, it was unspeakable, and it was i worse had ever been done, in all of tiuilt was hers It was impossible, and with any distance from the dream Eliza could dismiss it as ridiculous

She had not done, and nor would she ever do… that

But when the drealed her, none of it mattered--not reason, not sense, not even the laws of physics The terror and the guilt smothered it all

It sucked

When the sobs finally subsided and she lifted her head, Gabriel was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking compassionate and alarer that suggested a better-than-fair chance of bow ties in his future Maybe even a monocle He was a neuroscientist, probably the smartest person Eliza knew, and one of the nicest Both of them were research fellows at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of Natural History--the NMNH--and had been friendly while not quite friends for the past year, until Gabriel’s girlfriend moved to New York for her post-doc and he needed a roommate to cover the rent Eliza had known it was a risk, cross-pollinating life hours ork hours, for this exact reason This

Screa for an interested party to ascertain the… depths of abnor planks over quicksand, it sometimes seeiven in to the te but the normal concerns of any twenty-four-year-old doctoral student on a tiny budget Dissertation pressure, evil lab-rant proposals, rent

Monsters

"I’m sorry," she said to Gabriel "I think I’m okay now"

"Good" After an uncohtly, "Cup of tea?"

Tea Now there was a nice glimpse of normal "Yes," Eliza said "Please"

And when he ambled off to put on the kettle, she composed herself Pulled on her robe, rinsed her face, blew her nose, regarded herself in the mirror She was puffy, and her eyes were bloodshot Awesoetting co-lashed and bright--at least when the whites weren’t pink frohter brown than her skin, which ht now, it chilled her to note that they looked a little… crazy

"You’re not crazy," she told her reflection, and the state of an affiriven You’re not crazy, and you’re not going to be

Deeper down ran another, er than the others

Usually, she was able to believe it

When Eliza joined Gabriel in the kitchen, the oven clock read four AM Tea was on the table, along with a pint of ice creahtmare ice cream Family tradition"

"Really?"

"Yeah, actually"

Eliza tried, for a ine ice cream as her own family’s response to the dream, but she couldn’t The contrast was just too stark She reached for the carton "Thanks," she said She ate a couple of bites in silence, took a sip of tea, all the while tensed for the questions to begin, as they surely must

What do you dream about, Eliza?

How am I supposed to help you if you won’t talk towith you, Eliza?

She’d heard it all before

"You were dreaan Toth and his pillowy lips?"

Okay, so she hadn’t heard that In spite of herself, Eliza laughed Morgan Toth was her nehtmare, but no, that wasn’t even close "I don’t really want to talk about it," she said

"Talk about what?" Gabriel asked, all innocence "What is this ‘it’ you speak of?"

"Cute But I mean it Sorry"