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"Pavel likes you, you know," said Karou "He’s a certified non-orifice"

"Yes, well, Pavel’s sweet, but he does not give of the butterflies"

"The butterflies in the belly" Karou sighed "I know You knohat I think? I think the butterflies are always there in your belly, in everyone, all the time--"

"Like bacteria?"

"No, not like bacteria, like butterflies, and some people’s butterflies react to other people’s, on a chemical level, like pheromones, so that when they’re nearby, your butterflies start to dance They can’t help it--it’s cheht? Stupid butterflies" Liking the idea, Karou opened her sketchbook and started to draw it: cartoon intestines and a stomach croith butterflies Papilio stomachus would be their Latin name

Zuzana asked, "So, if it’s all chemical and you have no say in the matter, does that mean Jackass still makes your butterflies dance?"

Karou looked up "God no I think he makes my butterflies barf"

Zuzana had just taken a sip of tea and her hand flew to her hed, doubled over, until she ross Your stohed, too, and kept sketching "Actually, I think my stomach is full of dead butterflies Kaz killed theile creatures, vulnerable to frost and betrayal

"So what," said Zuzana "They had to be pretty stupid butterflies to fall for hiro ones with more sense Neise butterflies"

Karou loved Zuzana for her willingness to play out such silliness on a long kite string "Right" She raised her teacup in a toast "To a new generation of butterflies, hopefully less stupid than the last" Maybe they were burgeoning even now in fat little cocoons Or ling sensation in the pit of her belly anytiht She didn’t need it Well She didn’t want to need it Yearning for lovearound ankles,Petcoolly down froh wall, its expression inscrutable The cat that shunned petting, that needed no one Why couldn’t she be that cat?

Be that cat!!! she wrote, drawing it into the corner of her page, cool and aloof

Karou wished she could be the kind of girl as complete unto herself, comfortable in solitude, serene But she wasn’t She was lonely, and she feared the ht expand and… cancel her She craved a presence beside her, solid Fingertips light at the nape of her neck and a voicehers in the dark Someone ould ith an umbrella to walk her ho Who would dance with her on her balcony, keep his promises and know her secrets, and make a tiny world wherever he ith just her and his arms and his whisper and her trust

The door opened She looked in thein behind soain Karou rose and made for the bathroom, where she took the note that Kishle word But this time the as Please

11

PLEASE

Please? Bri across town, Karou found herself , like: Now, or else

Letting her in, Issa was uncharacteristically silent

"What is it, Issa? Am I in trouble?"

"Hush Just come in and try not to berate hiht if anyone was in danger of being berated, it was herself

"You’re very hard on hih already"

"As if what’s not hard enough?"

"His life His work His life is work It’s joyless, it’s relentless, and sometimes you make it harder than it already is"

"Me?" Karou was stunned "Did I just come in on the middle of a conversation, Issa? I have no idea what you’re talking about--"

"Hush, I said I’ that you try to be kind, like when you were little You were such a joy to us all, Karou I know it’s not easy for you, living this life, but try to remember, always try to remember, you’re not the only one with troubles"

And with that the inner door unsealed and Karou stepped across the threshold She was confused, ready to defend herself, but when she saw Bri heavily on his desk, his great head resting in one hand, while the other cupped the wishbone he wore around his neck Kishitation fro crickety chirrups of concern, and Karou faltered to a halt "Are… are you okay?" It felt odd asking, and she realized that of all the questions she had barraged him with in her life, she had never asked him that She’d never had reason to--he’d scarcely ever shown a hint of emotion, let alone weakness or weariness

He raised his head, released the wishbone, and said siuiltily, relieved

Striving for lightness, she said, "Well, please is the ht perhaps we had lost you"

"Lost ht that you had taken your freedom"

"My…" She trailed off Taken her freedoined that one day the path of your life would unroll at your feet and carry you away frolad that day is not today"

Karou stood staring at him "Seriously? I blow off one errand and you think that’s it, I’one forever? Jesus What do you think ofyou go, Karou, will be like opening thefor a butterfly One does not hope for the butterfly’s return"

"I’ butterfly"

"No You’re human Your place is in the human world Your childhood is nearly over--"