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"I don’t want to do it this way, Ray," Tanner says although so in his jeans tells me otherwise Hewant to" Tanner never cursed, but there was excitement in his voice "Roll over" He pushes me off of him until I am flat on my back He stands up and removes his shirt His once muscled and tanned body has been replaced with pale skin over protruding bones He is still beautiful to me

He would always be beautiful to me

I lift azes down at me "Under the covers," he says I shift and raise upunderneath He pushes down his boxers and I lift up the covers so he can join s and he settles hiainst my stomach

For the first time in our lives we are skin to skin

"Are you nervous?" Tanner asks He could probably feelat break neck speeds inthe exact sa

"No," I lie

"Me either," he lies

Tanner kisses me and after a few minutes, he positions himself with his hand and slowly enters me It hurts at first Just a little pinch of pain, but then it’s gone It doesn’t feel good, it’s unco this with him

It is over in just a few minutes He collapses on top of me and kisses my neck "I love you, Ray I love you so much it hurts"

And it did hurt

So much

"Holy Shit!"

I clasped my hands over ?" Tanner asked eagerly, searching my eyes for his answer

I nodded slowly, unable to explain to him what it was I just experienced