Page 37 (1/1)

I tried to relax, but I needed to say so to take it "I don’t want to push things, Tanner And I know that I don’t really remember him as my son But I feel hi with all the reasons why he should be reluctant to allohat I was about to ask, I was hesitant to continue

I closed my eyes Took a deep breath, and blurted it out "I want Sammy with me as much as possible I think he wants to be with me too" I turned my head away and braced myself for the rejection

Tanner scoffed "You’re his mom, Ray You don’t need my permission to spend time with him" He stretched his arm over the back of the couch "Let’s take it slow Sa radually It was a hard adjustment for hi too quickly"

I felt ain "Thank you, I really hed in relief "Can I ask you so," Tanner said, and I could tell from the way his eyes shone when he spoke that he really ether With Sammy? This two houses less than a e don’t you think?"

"And I know it’s not common these days, but after we had Saht way and wait until after graduation, like hoe’d originally planned" Tanner laughed and scrunched his nose "Actually, you decided that ere going to wait I’ to lie, I did try to talk you into it a few thousand tiether after the…" he trailed off and slapped hi Just forget it"

"No, tell ht?" I reminded him

Tanner stood and walked over to the kitchen He opened one of the drawers and pulled so whatever it was in one hand and covering it with the other he walked back over to h pressing up against mine

Tanner took his one hand away, revealing a sether until after…" Sheer panic It’s what I felt as he opened the hinged top of the box, revealing a thin gold band topped with a tiny round diamond

The few other memories I recalled had kind of flowed intoin like an out of control bus

Ray

15 years old

Tanner is sick Really sick Sicker then he’s letting on It breaks my heart to see the dark circles under his eyes The cheeriness of his bright pink Polo doing nothing to brighten the oes to sit at the edge of my bed, he winces when he connects withtime But no matter how many times I ask him if he’s okay, he brushes it off and tells me he’s fine He can’t brush it off anymore He was about to come clean and I don’t know if my heart can handle it

"So, you know I’ve been sick for a while," he starts, reaching forhands ca it since ere five He is my best friend Hi er Upon Tanners insistence, Nikki was always the reverend and Tanner and I were always the bride and groo us what to do It’s not fair" Nikki used to tell hiet to be the bride Mr Bossy-Pants?" She’d whine

"Cause Nikki," Tanner would answer "Me and Ray really are gonna get married soether It’s his certainty that keepsthat I think of him as just a friend But that’s also a lie in a way, because I may not love hiirlfriend loves her boyfriend, but Tanner and I are so close that he IS so much more to me than just a friend

And I do love him

He’s my family

He is ht that row to feel the same way about him that I know he feels about