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My breath escapes me and I feel sick to ether when Blaine told me about his sister the other day
"Holy fuck No" I cry
I cover , I fall to my knees with my hands on the pave to catch my breath
Royal killed those three men after they murdered Olivia: Blaine’s sister
SITTING HERE, MY THROAT FUCKING burns fro up inside ofataroundher and giving her everything that her tiny heart desires Anything that girl would’ve asked for would’ve been hers I’d give her the world just to know that my baby was happy and well
I should be able to see her tiny fingers and toes, and be able to smell her soft little baby hair as I hold her close toin this world will har hurts so bad to know she’ll never have that
Everything is so different than what I expected it to be when I first found out the news of Olivia’s pregnancy I thought I had life figured out; that ould live happily in our big hoahed and played with her uncles
None of that isever She’ll never have the love and security that she deserves and I’ll never forget how I’ve failed her and Olivia
I’m royally fucked up My head is fucked up My past is fucked up My future is fucked up Nothing about me is what Avalon wants or needs in her life, yet I’ her break me down and force her way into my heart
Myconsu theit impossible for me to love her the way that she deserves It will always lead et touched
This isout, I clutch the half bottle of whiskey in my hand and toss it at the wall The bottle shatters into sharp pieces that land at the foot of the wooden crib I put together just days before Olivia died
I nu the back oftoun in ins to burn I can barely fucking breathe right now and I’m not sure if I even deserve to
"Whoa! What the fuck!" Blaine yells from the open door "Put that shit down"
I sit up and opento shoot myself Fuck, I’et the fuck up!" Blaine says in a rush, while painfully looking around the roo hour and have been calling your ass nonstop We’ve got to go Now"
I reach into arette ThisAlways "My phone died It’s downstairs on the da insorrows" Ithe smoke between my lips "Can’t you see?"
Blaine’s jaw clenches as his eyes meet mine He looks extremely pissed and anxious "It’s Brian, dickweed" My heart fucking stops at thein o over at Happy’s Lounge Cole is there now, keeping his eye out for hi skips town again"