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"Farley told me," he entle and warainst my back, his palm flat to my scars I am here, it says
I want to tell hiood would it do? He would only refuse like I have, and have to suffer the shame of that refusal with oal And in this, I will not let Maven win He’s already conquered me He will not conquer Cal
Somehow, I fall asleep I do not dream
TWENTY
From that day on, his bedcha both of us so to hold on to We’re too tired to do h I’ to ether Part ofrooht and Nanny shushes thehten them, so I stay with Cal, the one person who doesn’t really fear ht I feel hihtmares are worse thanof The moment he severed his father’s head fro he doesn’t want to be seen in such a state But I feel his tears on my cheek Sometimes I think they burn me, but I don’t wake up with any new scars At least not the kind that can be seen
Even though we spend every night together, Cal and I don’t talk much There isn’t much to say beyond our duties I don’t tell hih Maven is far away, he still es to sit between us I can see hi in his brother’s head, trying to poison hi to me, both in the notes and in my memories I don’t knohy, but I can’t destroy either of them, and I tell no one of their existence
I should burn the another recruit the last ht we could beat hione
October 31
I expected you atyour Scarlet Guard would love to try to ruin, even though it was quite srand affair would see around with you and your rabble A precious few still owe allegiance to hi dealt with No Silver succession crisis will come and take my brother from your leash If you could, wish him a happy birthday for , isn’t it? I don’t doubt we’ll spend it together
Until wethe ink like knives For ato spillenough for me to slip out of the sleeper, out of Cal’s embrace, to my box of supplies in the corner Like at home, I keep my trinkets hidden, and two more of Maven’s notes are cru Until welike hands aroundto squeeze the life frole ain Not because Maven still insists on tor me No, the reason is ht he was
The brand he gave me burns with the memory I wonder if he can feel it too
Cal stirs in the sleeper behind htmare, but because it’s time to wake Hastily, I shove the notes away, and leave the room before he can open his eyes I don’t want to see his pity, not yet That will be too much to bear
"Happy birthday, Cal," I whisper to the eotten a coat, and the cold of November pricksis dark before the dawn, so that I can barely see the eaves of the forest Ada sits over the low coals of a ca bundle of wool blankets and scarves She always takes last watch, preferring to wake earlier than the rest of us Her accelerated brain lets her read the books I bring her and keep an eye on the woods at the saained a new skill by the time the rest of us are up and about Last week alone, she learned Tirax, the language of a strange nation to the southeast, as well as basic surgery But today, she holds no stolen book, and she is not alone
Ketha stands over the fire, arms crossed Her lipsAnd Kilorn huddles close to Ada, his feet almost entirely in the coals As I creep closer, I can see his brow bent in intense focus Stick in hand, he traces lines in the dirt Letters Crude, hastily drawn, forun, and hoht als new tears toto me The empty hole inside etting it," Ketha says, the corner of herin a half setcrack Without sopack over his shoulder His knife glints at his hip, cold and sharp as the icicles fanging the trees in the woods
"Kilorn?" Ketha asks, then her eyes fall on me, and my presence answers her question "Oh"
"It’s ti a hand toward Kilorn’s fading forers have flushed blue with the cold But he evades her grasp and she touches nothing but frosty air
I don’t do anything to stop hi him the space he so desperately desires He draws up the hood of his new coat, obscuring his face as he stalks toward the tree line Good brown leather and fleece lining, perfect for keeping hio in Haven I didn’t think Kilorn would accept such a gift from me, but even he knows the value of warmth
My colances at"He asked to learn," she says, al back to the waro, her golden eyes bright but sad She pats the log next to her, gesturing for me to sit When I do, she tosses one of her blankets across my lap and tucks it around me "There you are, miss" She was a maid in Harbor Bay, and despite her newfound freedom, old habits haven’t worn off yet She still calls h I’ve asked her to stop many tiood one No other teacher’s ever made it this far with Kilorn I’ll ain "We all need a little distraction, Ada"
She sighs in agree smile I don’t miss her eyes flicker back to the Notch, where half my heart sleeps And then to the forest, where the rest wanders "He has Crance with hih No bears, either," she adds, squinting at the dark horizon In daylight, if the mist holds off, we should be able to see the distantthrough the winter"