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THREE

In the past few days, I’ve woken up in a jail cell and then on a train Now it’s an underwater boat Where will I wake up to to think this has all been a dream, or a hallucination, or worse But can you feel tired in dreams? Because I certainly do My exhaustion is bone-deep, in every muscle and nerve My heart is another wound entirely, still bleeding fro cra back It’s like Queen Elara is inme to relive my worst memories As much as I try, I can’t stop the but paintingWalsh She was e, a servant from the Stilts, my friend--one of us And she died cruelly, by her own hand, to protect the Guard, our purpose, and me Even more died in the tunnels of Caesar’s Square, Guardsmen killed by Cal’s soldiers, killed by our foolish plan The ht of silver Lucas, a friend, a protector, a Silver with a kind heart, executed for what Julian and I ht me how to sit properly Colonel Macanthos, Reynald Iral, Belicos Lerolan Sacrificed for the cause I almost retch when I remember Lerolan’s twin boys, four years old, killed in the explosion that followed the shooting Maven told as line, but now I know better His evil runs too deep for such coincidence I doubt hea few more bodies on the blaze, if only to convince the world the Guard was made of monsters He’ll kill Julian too, and Sara They’re probably dead already I can’t think of thehts turn back to Maven himself, to cold blue eyes and thesmile hid a beast

The bunk beneath me is hard, the blankets thin, with no pillow to speak of, but part of me wants to lie back down Alreadywith the electric pulse of this miracle boat It is a firm reminder--there is no peace for me here Not yet, not while so much more must be done The list The names I must find them I must keep them safe from Maven and hiswith the memory of Julian’s little book of hard-won secrets A record of those like ives us Red blood and Silver abilities The list is Julian’s legacy And s over the side of the cot, al my head on the bunk aboveon the floor Black pants that are too long, a dark red shirt with threadbare elbows, and bootslike the fine clothes I found in a Silver cell, but they feel right against my skin

I barely have the shirt over es Kilorn waits expectantly on the other side, his s seen es of undress for many summers, but his cheeks redden anyway

"It’s not like you to sleep so long," he says, and I hear worry in his voice

I shrug it off and stand on weak legs "I guess I needed it" An odd ringing inbut not painful I shakelike a wet dog in the process

"That’ll be the banshee screaentle but callused hands I sub in annoyance He turnsat ears that ran red with blood however long ago "You’re lucky it didn’t hit you head-on"

"I’s, but I don’t think lucky is one of the away "That’s s me back to Naercey, when I told my brother I didn’t trust his word Deep in my heart, I know I still don’t

"I’m sorry," I mutter quickly Of course I know others have died, for the cause and for me But I’ve died too Mare of the Stilts died the day she fell onto a lightning shield Mareena, the lost Silver princess, died in the Bowl of Bones And I don’t knohat new person opened her eyes on the Undertrain I only knohat she has been and what she has lost, and the weight of it is al, or is that another secret?" I try to keep the bitterness fronore it and leans back against the door "We left Naercey five hours ago, and we’re headed northeast That’s honestly all I know"

"And that doesn’t bother you at all?"

He only shrugs "What her-ups trust me, or you, for that matter? You know better than anyone how foolish we’ve been, and the high cost we’ve paid" Again, I feel the sting of memory "You said yourself, you can’t even trust Shade I doubt anyone’s going to be sharing secrets anytime soon"

The jab doesn’t hurt as much as I expected it to "How is he?"

Kilorn tosses his head, gesturing out to the hallway "Farley carved out a nice littlebetter than the others Cursing a lot, but definitely better" His green eyes darken a bit, and he turns his gaze away "His leg--"

I draw in a startled breath "Infected?" At home in the Stilts, infection was as bad as a severed arm We didn’t have much medicine, and once the blood went bad, all you could do was keep chopping, hoping to outrun fever and blackened veins

To ood, and the Silvers fight with clean bullets So that’s big of the me to join him Instead, I shiver The air is so cold down here "But he’ll definitely be li for a while"

"Will you take ure out the way h and he extends his arm To my surprise, I find that I need his support to help me walk Naercey and the Bowl of Bones have certainly taken their toll

Mersive That’s what Kilorn calls the strange underwater boat How it h I’ure it out He’s next on my list I’ll find hi I re barely conscious e escaped, just like me But I don’t suppose Farley will set him up in the medical station, not with injured Guardsmen all around There’s too much bad blood and no one wants an inferno in a sealed s in nore And with every step, I learn about new aches and bruises Kilorn notesnores his oounds, deep cuts hidden beneath yet another set of fresh bandages He always had battered hands, bruised and cut fro hooks and rope, but they were familiar wounds They meant he was safe, employed, free from conscription If not for one dead fish master, little scars would be his only burden

Once that thought would have e of thebut narrow, divided by several es and pressurized seals To close off portions if need be, to stop the entire vessel froiveat the bottom of the ocean, locked in a watery coffin Even Kilorn, a boy raised on water, see filter strangely, cutting shadows across his face to make him appear old and drawn