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Dad wheezes to hi with each breath Maybe Gisa will be like him now, her hand a ht of what could have been

"Why don’t you just use the ’lec papers I get you?"

In response, Dad pulls a ration paper fro would spark to life, but nothing happens Broken

"No use," Dad sighs, sitting back in his chair We both stare at the utility box, at a loss for words, not wanting to o back upstairs Dad ran just like I did, unable to stay in the house, where Mo for lost dreams, while my sister tried not to join her

He bats the box like hitting the daht and warmth and hope back to us His actions becoer radiates froo he called us ants, Red ants burning in the light of a Silver sun Destroyed by the greatness of others, losing the battle for our right to exist because we are not special We did not evolve like theinations We stayed the saed around us and we stayed the sa Farley, Kilorn, conscription, every little thing I can think of Thelost the heat of electricity But there are vibrations still, deep in theto be switched back on I loseit back and prove that even one s sharpmy body jolt An exposed wire or faulty switch, I tellin my nerves, but the pain never follows

Above us, the porch light hums to life

"Well, fancy that," Dadhi to bring up the reason we are both so afraid of the place we call home

"No

"Nowhines with the strain, hoisting him up to the porch I’m quicker on the ladder so I wait for hi "Bugger of a thing," Dad grumbles e finally unsnap the last buckle

"Mo out of the house"

He looks up at h Dad barely works now, repairing trinkets and whittling for kids, his hands are still rough and callused, like he just returned from the front lines The war never leaves

"Don’t tell your , but it’s enough of so journey, you see? First I leave the house at night, then during the day, then I’o Then things go back to the way they were" His eyes darken as he speaks, fighting to keep his voice low and level "I’ to feel better I can’t let her hope for that, not when I know it’ll never happen Do you understand?"

All too well, Dad

He knohat hope has done to s were different"