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"How polite And you were all of sixteen?"

"Seventeen"

"I’ll bet you had a really good ti and at the ti sx andabout the heart"

Chloe was grateful for the darkness At least Arizona wouldn’t be able to see her stunned expression She didn’t consider herself a prude, but apparently she was This was too far out of her realm of experience She didn’t knohat to say

"You’re shocked," Arizona said

"A little That sort of thing doesn’t happen in Bradley"

"What does happen?"

"Are you asking about my first lover?"

"Yes"

She sat up and pulled her knees into her chest "I haven’t thought about Billy in a long time" Mostly because she didn’t let herself think about him

"You don’t have to talk about it if you’d rather not"

"No, I don’t h time had passed Maybe she’d finally healed

"When an, "Cassie and I were sent into foster care She stayed in Bradley, but I was sent to a fa town They had a son, Billy He was a couple of years older than me The first few months I stayed in my room and kept to myself I’d lost my parents and Cassie We wrote and saw each other e could, but it was different We didn’t feel like sisters anymore"

"Hoas the family you ith?"

"They were very kind to avein family events One day I looked up at the dinner table and realized Billy was sitting across from me He smiled and I smiled back A few pieces of my broken heart mended at that moment"

"Sounds romantic"

"It was fairly typical We went on dates, then started going steady"

"Did his parents know?"

"Yes We tried to keep it fro around I think the first time Billy and I made love was in the back seat of his car" She smiled at the memory "It wasn’t very comfortable"

"The car or the act itself"

"Both We didn’t knoe were doing It was quick The sex itself was alwaysclose It didn’tbecause I loved hiot better"

She s enough for us to get really good at it"

She didn’t want to think about that, she reminded herself So instead she recalled what it had been like to be with Billy He’d been so attentive and eager--both for her and to please her He’d always touched her as if she were the most precious creature alive Perhaps to him, she had been

But the sex itself hadn’t , or they’d been too inexperienced She’d never felt that ulti e It was a sad state of affairs that the best it had ever been had been in a dream…with the man just a few feet away from her

"So Billy was your first boyfriend and your first lover," Arizona said "Were you in love with him?"

"Yes Deeply He stole ot all the pieces back fro position They faced each other "So you believe in love, but you won’t believe in anything ical or mystical"

"They’re not the saic--in the form of her dream--but she wasn’t ready to admit that to him

"I don’t," he said flatly

It was the second tiht that he’d stunned her into silence He’d mentioned it before but she hadn’t really believed him Everyone had to believe in love Her ed to blurt out, "How is that possible? What about all the weird stuff you research? You’ll put your faith in a rock or a story, but not in the depth of hu about ro for their children Most would die for theree that s for their children Into call that love"

His careful qualification of his answer made her curious, so she filed that inforet away fro about

"So it’s just the issue of romantic love you have proble trouble believing this conversation Arizona believed in things she couldn’t even begin to understand, but not love But love was a fundamental part of the human condition

"What are you so afraid of?" she asked

He leaned toward her "Do you believe in love between a man and a woman?"

"Of course I plan to avoid it, but I know it exists I’ve experienced it"

"With Billy?"

"Yes"

"Anyone else?"