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PROLOGUE

Ten years ago

San Jose, California

Khai was supposed to be crying He kneas supposed to be crying Everyone else was

But his eyes were dry

If they stung, it was due to the heavy incense fogging the funeral parlor’s reception rooht he was sad But he should be sadder When your best friend died like this, you were supposed to be destroyed If this were a Vietna everyone

Why was his n?

His cousin Sara had sobbed so hard she’d needed to rush to the bathroo sick over and over Her ether and head bowed Khai’s mom patted her back from time to time, but she remained unresponsive Like Khai, she shed no tears, but that was because she’d cried them all out days before The family orried about her She’d withered down to her skeleton since they’d gotten the call

Rows of Buddhist monks in yellow robes blocked his view of the open casket, but that was a good thing Though the morticians had done their best, the body lookedThat was not the sixteen-year-old boy who used to be Khai’s friend and favorite cousin That was not Andy

Andy was gone

The only parts of hihts and sword fights, wrestling matches that Khai never won but refused to lose Khai would rather break both of his own arically stubborn Khai insisted hewalks hoht of the sun was heavier than their book-filled backpacks, and the conversations that had taken place during those walks

Even now, he could hear his cousin scoffing at him The specific circumstances eluded him, but the words remained

Nothing gets to you It’s like your heart is made of stone

He hadn’t understood Andy then He was beginning to now

The droning of Buddhist chants filled the rooe no one understood It flowed over and around hi his leg even though people had given hilance at his watch confir on for hours He wanted the noise to stop He could al the lid to block the sound But then he’d be stuck in a tight space with a corpse, and he wasn’t sure if that would be an improvement over his current predicament

If Andy were here—alive and here—they’d escape together and find so outside to kick rocks around the parking lot Andy was good that way He was always there when you needed him Except for now

Khai’s big brother sat beside him, but he knew Quan wouldn’t want to leave early Funerals existed for people like Quan He needed the closure or whatever it was people got fro build and the new tattoos on his neck and arms, Quan looked like one badass motherfucker, but his eyes were rimmed red From time to time, he discreetly brushed the moisture from his cheeks Just like always, Khai wished he could be more like his brother

Astopped Relief was instant and dizzying, like an enormous pressure had suddenly dissolved The monks worked with the pallbearers to close the casket, and soon a procession filed sedately down the center aisle Because he disliked standing in lines and the claustrophobic press of bodies, Khai stayed seated as Quan got to his feet, squeezed Khai’s shoulder once, and joined the exodus

He watched as relatives trudged past Some cried openly Others were more stoic, but their sadness was obvious even to him Aunts, uncles, cousins, distant relations, and friends of the fa called grief As usual, Khai was not a part of it

A group of older women that consisted of his ht up the end of the line because of a near-fainting spell, sticking close in adulthood just like everyone said they had as young girls If it weren’t for the fact that they all wore black, they could have been attending a wedding Diaers, and he could sh the haze of the incense

As they passed his row, he stood and straightened the hand- to do if he was ever going to fill the thing out And pull-ups Thousands of pull-ups He’d start those tonight

When he looked up, he discovered the ladies had all paused next to him Dì Mai reached a hand toward his cheek but stopped before touching him