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Inwardly she’d winced, each barb finding its target with pinpoint accuracy, but she’d be damned if she ever let anyone see her weak and vulnerable She’d donned a cool, unaffected, even bored expression as though she were just passing her tiht that she’d purposely set out to make these people think that she was here because Thomas would be released in mere days That she couldn’t stay away That she was still firmly under his spell It was an act, but it hadn’t always been and that hat hurt the most
She’d sworn to leave this place and never return She’d walked out of the courthouse relieved, yet so full of sha to say a single word Not even "no comment" What was there to say? She’d already aired her sins in front of God, judge and jury and she wasn’t rehashing it again Ever
Except by a cruel twist of fate--No Fate couldn’t be blaineered his release But whatever the case, that long ago vow of putting Tho it, had been shattered and now she stood in the -suppressed i with vicious clarity
That day she’d carried only a duffel bag containing everything she owned, what little money she possessed shoved into her pocket She’d walked and she’d kept walking, never once looking back Not at the diner where it had all begun Not when she’d wearily passed the city lin She’d only looked forward, no definitive destination in et as far away as possible, as quickly as possible and try like hell to put everything that town represented behind her Try to forget And to forgiveherself She’d been unable to do either Especially now
She’d walked for days, the days fading to night and then slowly bleeding to light once more Despite her efforts to blank her mind and shut out the recitation of the atrocities Thomas had committed, it had sounded as if the jury forele cri than the last She still heard that voice in her night over and over It sickened her now every bit aswith never-ending nighte that she was not the victim she’d been portrayed in court The true victiraded, violated and ruesome, inhuman manner, and it was they who deserved justice Not Eliza She’d deserved the same punishment handed down to Thoned to a lifetiuilty of the worst crinorance And an aching need for love and acceptance, as only a vulnerable young girl could fantasize about the things she’d never been gifted with Things she craved far more than the truth She didn’t want reality Her reality was diss Thomas had offered and she’d latched on to with fervent desperation She’d been absolute in her belief that he was a good ated She’d been deter to prove his innocence because if he wasn’t then she lost the fantasy world she’d plunged so recklessly into Rooting herself so deeply in denial that she’d convinced herself none of it was real Except Tho to that and only that, refusing to see as so pathetically obvious to everyone except her Because she chose denial Refused to return to reality Her crime was that choice, because deep down she kneasn’t real and she hadn’t cared And her denial and selfish desperation for love had condemned innocent women to death
Tho so beautiful and selfless It had taken her witnessing the depraved things he’d done to an innocent woullible fool she’d been God, how so very ignorant of love she’d been then--a lifetio But she’d witnessed the real deal now And finally understood Knew it for what it truly was and not the twisted, manipulative and sick perversion she’d once been i source of shame that she’d never escape But back then he’d tapped into her young , every wish, her every dreaiven her precisely what her unrealistic fantasies had manifested themselves into She’d been an easy mark and Thomas hadn’t had to exert any effort whatsoever to bend her to his will
She shivered, pulling at the sleeves of her windbreaker and finally pulling the hood to cover her head as chilly spring rain began to gently fall There was no longer any need to ensure she was noticed and recognized In a few hours’ time, the entire toould know of her arrival And Thomas too would be aware that she was here
Tears welled and for once she didn’t call them back and refuse to let theuised by the now o She wasn’t breaking her vow never to let anyone see her cry ever again Because there was no way to distinguish her tears froer bear the horrific burden without having an outlet
"I’m so sorry," she whispered "I didn’t know It’s no excuse I should have known I should have been smarter If I had, none of you would be dead But I swear to you on my life, that I won’t fail you like the justice system failed youand me"
She kneell how the rest would play out now that she’d made herthrough the town She’d continue to face the same scorn and ridicule she’d already been subjected to and be treated like a leper
None of that ot wind that she was here and as soon as he was a free man, not only would he know she’d co to make it hard
Until then, she’d be treated with no better regard than Thomas himself, only the people here would be even more bitter toward her because she had never paid for her crione free while so many other wo more than she deserved She deserved far worse