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Feeling cornered, reuilty by soave her a look that told her I wouldn’t be cowed "I’rew hard "Marco isn’t just uy and I don’t like anyone hurting hiht now?"

"No" She huffed "And he’ll probably be really pissed off when I tell hiives you a kick up the arse to do the right thing, then I’ about"

"Maybe not But we both know Marco is a good person He doesn’t deserve to be feeling the way he’s feeling" She shrugged, shotlook, and said, "You think on that"

My visit with Bray, Belle, and their mums was somewhat poisoned by Leah’s decision to try to force my hand in the situation with Marco

I spentabout hi such a coward and call hi on his part He picked up on the second ring

"You kno to keep a guy hanging," he answered quietly

"I’ yourself I don’t blame you for what happened to me"

"Easier said than done, Hannah There’s a reason you broke up with me when you found out about Dylan You said yourself that at least a part of you bla you to deal with all that shit by yourself"

"Honestly," I whispered, "I did I know that it wasn’t right, though, and I’ve worked through that I know that what happened to me wasn’t your fault What happened toirresponsible and not using protection, that’s all"

"No That was my fault I was the experienced one But it was you… and in that ht"

"Was that the way it ith Leah?" I asked caustically

"Hannah, it wasn’t like that with her We were both shit-faced It’s a et undressed and have sex, if --"

"Okay, I don’t want to hear any more," I interrupted

He was silent for a while and then… "It’s about Leah, isn’t it?"

"No," I answered, and then sighed "I don’t know"

"Hannah, I care about Leah She’s my friend and she’s the mother of h, Marco?" I asked "Should it hurt this much?"

"I don’t know I don’t knohat the rules are All I know is that iti forto protect him To make sure he knows he’s loved That he makes my universe turn And I feel that way about you too I want to protect you, I want you to know that for me there’s no one else like you That you make my universe turn"

My heart actually hurt in my chest

"Hannah?"

"If it was up to how I feel when it’s just us and the world is quiet and everything seeether I’d put it all behind me and we’d move on But life isn’t like that The rest of the world never goes away Our mistakes are out there and we can’t hide from them I don’t want to mess you around and it’s not my intention to hurt you" – my voice cracked – "but I just don’t think this is what I want anyruff, the way he sounded whenever he was feeling so him "Marco, I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen And it’s hurt for eight years I’ht kind of love"

"I didn’t know there was a right or a wrong kind," he whispered hoarsely

"Perhaps not But maybe I need a shot at an easy kind"

"Or ive us a shot with all this shit out in the open," he argued "Hannah, ere kids I was ive us a chance But those twoweeks of my life, and they would have been perfect if we’d just been honest about everything Now all that is out there, and we can start over It can be great It can be easy"

I wanted to believe that, but I was too scared I wasn’t even going to lie to myself about it I was terrified

Marco could hurtI had I’d allowed his mistakes, our mistakes, to bendthe tears fro hands, I prepared myself to finally make a decision

"Hannah?"

"Marco…" My voice caet the voluiven anyone a chance If you want the whole and absolute truth, there’s never been anyone since you I lied when you asked me when the last time I had sex was I’ve only ever been with one ave myself a chance to fall in love with soood for each other You need toand yet not so surprising response "You’re mine I’" More lies "I just need a fresh start"

"Hannah, I love you"

"Please don’t… don’t ive me bullshit clichés I need to see you We can’t do this over the phone We can talk and we can work it out"

Terrified at that thought because I knew that just seeing him would weaken my resolve, I hurried to deny hi on, Marco, and I need you to do the sa had grown shallow "I can’t It ive you up I won’t If I thought it hat you really wanted, really needed, I would But it’s not You’re scared I know you’re scared I’ I can to take that fear away"